A Year in a Place I've Never Been

Oct 04, 2024

Anniversaries are natural moments of reflection. With the anniversary of October 7th rapidly approaching, there has been a proliferation of articles, podcasts, and books attempting to understand what that day has wrought and what it means for the Middle East and the wider world.

The experiences of those who have traveled to Israel since that horrible day are always of particular interest to me. It is the outsider perspective on a place so defined by identity that seems of unique value.

Because despite the fact that I have spent the past year consumed with this part of the world, it is a place I have never been and I’m wondering how much I cannot understand as a result.

The closest I have gotten to feeling in my body the impact of October 7th is standing a few yards from Rachel Goldberg at the DNC as she broke down over her then missing and since murdered son Hersh. I wept along with her and felt the pain of the hostages’ families in a way I never could through posts or videos no matter how impactful.

After all, I’ve watched the streets of Tel Aviv filled with thousands of protesters, but I’ve never stood on those streets myself.

I’ve seen the hollow-eyed stares of the children of Gaza as they sit among the rubble but I’ve never crossed a checkpoint myself.

I’ve watched missiles fall into the West Bank from Lebanon, but I’ve never seen the sky over Area A myself.

I’ve learned so much about the politics and history of Israel and Palestine and Lebanon and Jordan and Egypt and Iran over the past year but all of that information is slotted into a dated understanding of the region built over decades. Every new thing I learn only shows me how little I understand.

That is a hard place to be in one year out. Anniversaries are for lessons learned and impactful takeaways but I don’t have any. The scale of suffering is enormous. The conflict seems intractable. The path forward from where I sit is unclear and the reports from those who have stood in the streets and listened to the people there give me little hope.

What that does tell me is that we are in the middle of an enormous transition in the region and that our old understandings are of little or no value. The only thing I can see looking back over the past year is how often the expected outcome never materialized and how often experts expressed shock and confusion.

So, there will be no easy conclusions from me on this anniversary. October 7, 2023, was filled with horror and heartbreak. October 7, 2024, will be no different.

A Year in a Place I've Never Been

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