I think part of the American drive to make more and more money (to the point of obsession) may be partly due to the lack of a meaningful and easily accessible social safety net. If you can go broke any day of the week, it’s hard to reach the point of having “enough” to feel comfortable. I think this insidious stress also plays a significant role in our poor health outcomes.
Sarah - I've heard you mention several times that college is fast approaching for your oldest. My son is currently a college sophomore. When he was in high school I had the same thoughts and concerns about college that I've heard you express: What will it cost? Is it a racket? What don't I know/understand? Why does it feel like I'm the only one who isn't giving up and saying "Oh well, it is what it is?" etc. I found College Aid Pro extremely helpful in understanding the financial side of the college equation. This website helps you understand the costs specific to your financial situation and your student's academic record. So many resources/education available. I highly recommend!
On stopping and checking on people-I’ve found that people generally appreciate it. I usually have water and some other things in the car to offer and we do need to watch out for one another ❤️
Beth - in response to your talking at the end of the episode about people not being at church and wanting to tell them you miss them but not wanting to pressure them….tell them….tell them about missing them and approach it not just from a church side but a I miss YOU side. As someone who stopped going to church (and still has feelings to work through about that)…one of the things that has been hard for me is that everyone I thought was my friend at church dropped me when I didn’t come back to church. Made me feel like I wasn’t really part of their crew I was only part when I was attending church and that has made me not want to go back and not want to connect again with those people. So if you really miss the people tell them. They need to hear it.
I think Ocasio-Cortez is an amazing communicator and also authentic. However, listening to this podcast is one of the things that makes me uneasy about her running for president. I used to think that the Dems weren't radical enough, and that's why they didn't win. This podcast has gotten me out of my bubble and has made me listen to different voices, and now I am not at all convinced of that. I guess a lot of it depends on how far Trump goes off the cliff and what candidate the Republicans put up.
I loved your talk about April Fool's--I listened while I was driving to a photo shoot 2.5 hours away this morning. I don't usually do pranks and had planned to do googly eyes on some stuff around the house. I couldn't find the bag of eyes in time for when my kids came home from school, but I found some silly eye/nose/mouth stickers from some crafts and stuck them several places around the house. My kids are 9 and 11, and the absolute delight they had in discovering them when they got home from school made me so glad I took those few minutes for some whimsy. Made our afternoon a little more fun!
Beth, if you miss someone at church, tell them. I stopped going to the church I grew up in with my family for 10 years and I don’t remember a single person reaching out or saying they missed me. It still surprises me how sad that makes me even though it’s been ten years since then. I wouldn’t have taken an “I miss you” as pressure.
Yes! Similarly (and also different), I was in a debilitating automobile collision in 2019 and almost no one from my church community stepped up in support. The lack of support from a place that I equate, at least in theory, as supportive was a game changer in my faith. And then 2020 happened which brought so many added layers of complexity around my faith and community.
Tbh, I’m surprised there hasn’t been more talk of his speech around here today! (I know they had pre-recorded the episode, but not in the chat either.)
I'm sorry about that. I normally would have started a new chat, but I injured my foot pretty severely on Saturday and spent most of yesterday trying to figure out how to get my follow up care covered by my insurance. (yes, the doctor is in-network, not that practice, actually no they're not, why don't you go to a hip specialist?, then I thought I had an appointment with one guy, but it was actually another doctor in the practice. TL/DR God bless Linda at my PCP’s office for taking my calls all day)
I was also wondering if you were ok Maggie!! So sorry to see this and I hope you can get the care you need and that it’s covered so you don’t have to worry about how to afford it ❤️
Truthfully, I was wondering if you were ok because I hadn’t seen a new chat stream this week. So sorry you’re dealing with this and hope you can recover fully. 💜 we are thankful for all you do around here!
I loved checking in on his live stream! It was so inspiring to hear him read constituents’ letters and discuss real matters rather than just blabber on (a la Ted Cruz reading Dr. Suess & Strom Thurmond reading the phone book).
I am feeling exactly like Beverly Cleary's Ramona when she asks how Mike Mulligan went to the bathroom. But - was Cory Booker allowed a break to go to the bathroom? This is what stresses me out about filibusters!
I would be dead on Monday if I didn't eat since Friday and stopped drinking water on Sunday. There is no way that would give me energy to do a 24 hour speech.
I got inspired by the episode to switch my boys’ pillows and 30 stuffed animals to their sibling’s bed. They’re in bunk beds so this took some work and also got me to wash the top bunk sheets. Anyway, thanks for the inspiration. Excited to see how long it takes them to notice.
Re: April Fools...this morning i told my 16 yr old that I was thinking about calling my mom to say that something happened to one of the baby eagles that we've been obsessed with, but that it felt too mean. Two minutes later I got a text from my mom saying that one of the eaglettes fell out of the nest. 😏
For my teenagers I wrapped their own cell phones and chrome books in holiday paper and told them they had gifts to open this morning. They were midly amused, borderline annoyed...but I was cracking up 😂
Also, was it just me that, immediately after the “ big tech & big corporations are horrible and enormous wealth is toxic” section, got an ad read for Oracle, whose co-founder and current high-level executive is the 4th wealthiest person in the world?
Just want to clarify that I don't think big tech and big corporations are horrible or that enormous wealth is toxic! I think our societal balance is off right now, but I still believe there are companies that do a lot of good and that some level of wealth can be managed in a healthy way. :)
I tend to agree with you. I don’t get nearly as riled up about corporations and billionaires as a lot of people do, and I don’t think you said any of those things about big corporations and enormous wealth. I’m also not mad about the ad read or anything, but I did find it an interesting juxtaposition that it directly followed the discussion where, I believe, the exact words used for enormous wealth were that it is, “a toxin.”
I’ve always found it strange that people get so invested in the “politics” of companies and corporations. They are all just going whichever way the wind blows and always have been. There is zero altruism in corporations. They are, literally, salespeople who will pretend to believe whatever makes you buy their products. So, whatever polices or “beliefs” places like Target, Facebook, Amazon, whoever had from 2020-now, vs what they are doing today? It’s all always been horseshit. They give zero Fs about any of these “causes” or groups of people. They were avoiding one mob’s wrath, and now they feel more threat from a different mob. None of it is permanent, and chasing it around is exhausting and probably mostly futile. Today’s ally could easily be tomorrow’s foe and vice versa. It seems like the only thing you can really count on from salespeople is them being entirely full of shit.🙃
Fellow cheese head/former Bluegrass state voter. I wish I could say I felt good about Susan Crawford winning today but man I don't. I am hopeful though. I will tell you the "tone" here though, no one wants Elon Musk here. I said this yesterday, his rally got a lot of coverage but he barely got 1000 people to show up. That is NOT a following. MAGAs are not fans of Elon. I think if she wins (fingers crossed) you will see the Republicans turn on Elon and demand he stay far away from further elections (which I think is a good thing). Maybe even Trump too for that matter. The last week has really changed the narrative that Trump wants you to vote for Brad Schimel. Susan Crawford doesn't support the Trump agenda. That is new and if she wins I think you'll see blame def go to Elon because Republicans can't stand him either and are biting at the bit for a good reason to get him out of their lives. Now the flip of that, I think Elon will take credit for Brad winning and he will make this a new pattern and inject himself into future big elections. So, for soooooooooo many reasons I want her to win today. I was voter #116 as of 9 a.m. this morning :)
I’ve been thinking a lot about public education and wondering if part of the problem is middle and upper class expectations of schools. I went to a very good public high school - super AP classes, excellent fine arts funding, etc. My husband went to a mediocre to poor high school. He wasn’t well prepared for AP classes and so didn’t earn college credit through them. They would consistently spend their chemistry class time at the donut shop. We both went to a small private university with low admissions standards. He went from there to the 3rd-ranked electrical engineering PhD program in the country. In his mind, high school matters basically zero. I have a hard time with this, but the results kind of speak for themselves. 😂
Now, he had a lot of family advantages that set him up for success in spite of his poor high school experience. So I certainly think there are things that need to be addressed for equity reasons. But I feel like what I often hear is parents whose children already have advantages pushing the schools to do more. When maybe what would help is to put high school in its proper perspective—as important but not the place where all intellectual, social, and emotional needs are going to be met. Still mulling all this over…
I find this whole thread so interesting. I have always considered my high school good. It only had one AP class. But the university I was destined to attend didn't take AP credits, so that didn't matter. I think I agree with your husband AND I'll add that often university doesn't matter as well.
I've often worked with people who went to way fancier schools than I did. Mostly Stanford, some Ivy League. Some of those are smart as hell, truly impressive people and I'm really glad I got the opportunity to work with them. But I went to Iowa State and San Jose State, and I ended up in the same place they did. And some of them were not smart at all. One or two were absolute frauds.
Yes! My husband teaches at the same small university we went to. We had great experiences there and felt like we got a fabulous education with faculty who really cared about students. And we know many people who have gone from there to work in all sorts of high-flying jobs. And many, like us, who are very happy with smaller careers. We have very little college anxiety for our kids because we know they can have a great experience at a smaller school. There’s no need to stress about high school achievements. Many, many colleges are happy to take most who apply.
My husband and I both attended the same, small, generally poor, rural HS. There weren’t advanced opportunities. We both ended up with professional degrees in healthcare, while studying alongside (and frequently out performing) those from either $$$ private schools or what I call private-public schools (where zoning and tax rates intentionally do as much as possible keep the “riff-raff” from being able to afford to be a part of a school district) who showed up to college well ahead of us in what their education had already exposed them to. So, I tend to agree with your husband about high school at least mattering less than the crazy weight many give to it. If you’re really looking to get the most difficult college admission possible, then maybe all that craziness pays off, but, in many cases, it probably doesn’t.
My husband and I grew up together and went to the same school. We come from a VERY small town in Western Kentucky and it is/was a very poor school district. My mom was a former educator so school was always very important in our family. So I worked hard and tried to soak up whatever was taught but I'd be willing to bet dollar to donuts my homework was not your homework. Our school only offered 1 AP class (that might not be the case today that was circa 2002) and even then it was only offered if enough kids signed up to take it. I don't complain about my kid's school even though I see gaps and faults because from my perspective it is like daylight and dark from my personal experience in public school. Anytime my kids complain I find myself saying things like, "I would've given my left leg to have what you guys have at school!" Their libraries alone are a thing to be admired. I have "classed-up" in my adult life and I live and work with people who did not grow up like I did and have virtually no point of reference of what a "poor" school actually looks like. We are electing 2 school board members in today's election in my town and I've heard a lot about how "terrible" our schools are and it is from classic, white, upper/middle class suburbanites. I guess that's a long way to say I think you're right lol. I did my student teaching in Milwaukee and I had a class of sophomores - US History. Half of them couldn't read above a 4th grade reading level. I had to use elementary text books with them, and it wasn't a Special Education class. There are so many things wrong in today's educational system. And Sarah's right, it's not the teachers.
I think part of the American drive to make more and more money (to the point of obsession) may be partly due to the lack of a meaningful and easily accessible social safety net. If you can go broke any day of the week, it’s hard to reach the point of having “enough” to feel comfortable. I think this insidious stress also plays a significant role in our poor health outcomes.
I think you're onto something here.
Sarah - I've heard you mention several times that college is fast approaching for your oldest. My son is currently a college sophomore. When he was in high school I had the same thoughts and concerns about college that I've heard you express: What will it cost? Is it a racket? What don't I know/understand? Why does it feel like I'm the only one who isn't giving up and saying "Oh well, it is what it is?" etc. I found College Aid Pro extremely helpful in understanding the financial side of the college equation. This website helps you understand the costs specific to your financial situation and your student's academic record. So many resources/education available. I highly recommend!
https://collegeaidpro.com/
On stopping and checking on people-I’ve found that people generally appreciate it. I usually have water and some other things in the car to offer and we do need to watch out for one another ❤️
What a smart idea to have stuff in the car ready for someone who needs it!!
Beth - in response to your talking at the end of the episode about people not being at church and wanting to tell them you miss them but not wanting to pressure them….tell them….tell them about missing them and approach it not just from a church side but a I miss YOU side. As someone who stopped going to church (and still has feelings to work through about that)…one of the things that has been hard for me is that everyone I thought was my friend at church dropped me when I didn’t come back to church. Made me feel like I wasn’t really part of their crew I was only part when I was attending church and that has made me not want to go back and not want to connect again with those people. So if you really miss the people tell them. They need to hear it.
Agree! It could be something as simple as, I miss you. Want to grab coffee or tea together on (date)?
I think Ocasio-Cortez is an amazing communicator and also authentic. However, listening to this podcast is one of the things that makes me uneasy about her running for president. I used to think that the Dems weren't radical enough, and that's why they didn't win. This podcast has gotten me out of my bubble and has made me listen to different voices, and now I am not at all convinced of that. I guess a lot of it depends on how far Trump goes off the cliff and what candidate the Republicans put up.
I loved your talk about April Fool's--I listened while I was driving to a photo shoot 2.5 hours away this morning. I don't usually do pranks and had planned to do googly eyes on some stuff around the house. I couldn't find the bag of eyes in time for when my kids came home from school, but I found some silly eye/nose/mouth stickers from some crafts and stuck them several places around the house. My kids are 9 and 11, and the absolute delight they had in discovering them when they got home from school made me so glad I took those few minutes for some whimsy. Made our afternoon a little more fun!
Delight!!
My prank- I gift wrapped the contents of the fridge while on a work online training! Can’t wait for my people to catch it!
😂😂😂😂
Beth, if you miss someone at church, tell them. I stopped going to the church I grew up in with my family for 10 years and I don’t remember a single person reaching out or saying they missed me. It still surprises me how sad that makes me even though it’s been ten years since then. I wouldn’t have taken an “I miss you” as pressure.
Yes! Similarly (and also different), I was in a debilitating automobile collision in 2019 and almost no one from my church community stepped up in support. The lack of support from a place that I equate, at least in theory, as supportive was a game changer in my faith. And then 2020 happened which brought so many added layers of complexity around my faith and community.
WHOA, this stops me in my tracks, Sandy.
I very much relate to this!
Between this episode and Cory Booker’s filibuster, I’m feeling glimmers of hope that the tide is shifting. Thank you for your clarity.
Tbh, I’m surprised there hasn’t been more talk of his speech around here today! (I know they had pre-recorded the episode, but not in the chat either.)
I'm sorry about that. I normally would have started a new chat, but I injured my foot pretty severely on Saturday and spent most of yesterday trying to figure out how to get my follow up care covered by my insurance. (yes, the doctor is in-network, not that practice, actually no they're not, why don't you go to a hip specialist?, then I thought I had an appointment with one guy, but it was actually another doctor in the practice. TL/DR God bless Linda at my PCP’s office for taking my calls all day)
I was also wondering if you were ok Maggie!! So sorry to see this and I hope you can get the care you need and that it’s covered so you don’t have to worry about how to afford it ❤️
Thank you! I'm hoping that by doing all this round and around on the front end that the actual care will be smooth sailing! -m
Truthfully, I was wondering if you were ok because I hadn’t seen a new chat stream this week. So sorry you’re dealing with this and hope you can recover fully. 💜 we are thankful for all you do around here!
Awww thanks!
I loved checking in on his live stream! It was so inspiring to hear him read constituents’ letters and discuss real matters rather than just blabber on (a la Ted Cruz reading Dr. Suess & Strom Thurmond reading the phone book).
I am feeling exactly like Beverly Cleary's Ramona when she asks how Mike Mulligan went to the bathroom. But - was Cory Booker allowed a break to go to the bathroom? This is what stresses me out about filibusters!
He couldn't go to the bathroom, or eat or drink, or sit down. It's a remarkable physical and emotional feat.
I don’t think they can leave the Senate floor. Booker said he’s been fasting since Friday and not drinking water since Sunday. 😳
I would be dead on Monday if I didn't eat since Friday and stopped drinking water on Sunday. There is no way that would give me energy to do a 24 hour speech.
I heard the rules allow other people to ask questions which allows him to take a break. My first thought was that he wore an adult diaper:)
TMZ (of all places 😂) reported that he didn’t
I got inspired by the episode to switch my boys’ pillows and 30 stuffed animals to their sibling’s bed. They’re in bunk beds so this took some work and also got me to wash the top bunk sheets. Anyway, thanks for the inspiration. Excited to see how long it takes them to notice.
Re: April Fools...this morning i told my 16 yr old that I was thinking about calling my mom to say that something happened to one of the baby eagles that we've been obsessed with, but that it felt too mean. Two minutes later I got a text from my mom saying that one of the eaglettes fell out of the nest. 😏
For my teenagers I wrapped their own cell phones and chrome books in holiday paper and told them they had gifts to open this morning. They were midly amused, borderline annoyed...but I was cracking up 😂
Also, was it just me that, immediately after the “ big tech & big corporations are horrible and enormous wealth is toxic” section, got an ad read for Oracle, whose co-founder and current high-level executive is the 4th wealthiest person in the world?
Just want to clarify that I don't think big tech and big corporations are horrible or that enormous wealth is toxic! I think our societal balance is off right now, but I still believe there are companies that do a lot of good and that some level of wealth can be managed in a healthy way. :)
I tend to agree with you. I don’t get nearly as riled up about corporations and billionaires as a lot of people do, and I don’t think you said any of those things about big corporations and enormous wealth. I’m also not mad about the ad read or anything, but I did find it an interesting juxtaposition that it directly followed the discussion where, I believe, the exact words used for enormous wealth were that it is, “a toxin.”
I’ve always found it strange that people get so invested in the “politics” of companies and corporations. They are all just going whichever way the wind blows and always have been. There is zero altruism in corporations. They are, literally, salespeople who will pretend to believe whatever makes you buy their products. So, whatever polices or “beliefs” places like Target, Facebook, Amazon, whoever had from 2020-now, vs what they are doing today? It’s all always been horseshit. They give zero Fs about any of these “causes” or groups of people. They were avoiding one mob’s wrath, and now they feel more threat from a different mob. None of it is permanent, and chasing it around is exhausting and probably mostly futile. Today’s ally could easily be tomorrow’s foe and vice versa. It seems like the only thing you can really count on from salespeople is them being entirely full of shit.🙃
Feeling really grateful for the Pantsuit Politics team today! The MTS and this episode worked so well together.
Fellow cheese head/former Bluegrass state voter. I wish I could say I felt good about Susan Crawford winning today but man I don't. I am hopeful though. I will tell you the "tone" here though, no one wants Elon Musk here. I said this yesterday, his rally got a lot of coverage but he barely got 1000 people to show up. That is NOT a following. MAGAs are not fans of Elon. I think if she wins (fingers crossed) you will see the Republicans turn on Elon and demand he stay far away from further elections (which I think is a good thing). Maybe even Trump too for that matter. The last week has really changed the narrative that Trump wants you to vote for Brad Schimel. Susan Crawford doesn't support the Trump agenda. That is new and if she wins I think you'll see blame def go to Elon because Republicans can't stand him either and are biting at the bit for a good reason to get him out of their lives. Now the flip of that, I think Elon will take credit for Brad winning and he will make this a new pattern and inject himself into future big elections. So, for soooooooooo many reasons I want her to win today. I was voter #116 as of 9 a.m. this morning :)
Crawford won!!
I’ve been thinking a lot about public education and wondering if part of the problem is middle and upper class expectations of schools. I went to a very good public high school - super AP classes, excellent fine arts funding, etc. My husband went to a mediocre to poor high school. He wasn’t well prepared for AP classes and so didn’t earn college credit through them. They would consistently spend their chemistry class time at the donut shop. We both went to a small private university with low admissions standards. He went from there to the 3rd-ranked electrical engineering PhD program in the country. In his mind, high school matters basically zero. I have a hard time with this, but the results kind of speak for themselves. 😂
Now, he had a lot of family advantages that set him up for success in spite of his poor high school experience. So I certainly think there are things that need to be addressed for equity reasons. But I feel like what I often hear is parents whose children already have advantages pushing the schools to do more. When maybe what would help is to put high school in its proper perspective—as important but not the place where all intellectual, social, and emotional needs are going to be met. Still mulling all this over…
I find this whole thread so interesting. I have always considered my high school good. It only had one AP class. But the university I was destined to attend didn't take AP credits, so that didn't matter. I think I agree with your husband AND I'll add that often university doesn't matter as well.
I've often worked with people who went to way fancier schools than I did. Mostly Stanford, some Ivy League. Some of those are smart as hell, truly impressive people and I'm really glad I got the opportunity to work with them. But I went to Iowa State and San Jose State, and I ended up in the same place they did. And some of them were not smart at all. One or two were absolute frauds.
Yes! My husband teaches at the same small university we went to. We had great experiences there and felt like we got a fabulous education with faculty who really cared about students. And we know many people who have gone from there to work in all sorts of high-flying jobs. And many, like us, who are very happy with smaller careers. We have very little college anxiety for our kids because we know they can have a great experience at a smaller school. There’s no need to stress about high school achievements. Many, many colleges are happy to take most who apply.
My husband and I both attended the same, small, generally poor, rural HS. There weren’t advanced opportunities. We both ended up with professional degrees in healthcare, while studying alongside (and frequently out performing) those from either $$$ private schools or what I call private-public schools (where zoning and tax rates intentionally do as much as possible keep the “riff-raff” from being able to afford to be a part of a school district) who showed up to college well ahead of us in what their education had already exposed them to. So, I tend to agree with your husband about high school at least mattering less than the crazy weight many give to it. If you’re really looking to get the most difficult college admission possible, then maybe all that craziness pays off, but, in many cases, it probably doesn’t.
My husband and I grew up together and went to the same school. We come from a VERY small town in Western Kentucky and it is/was a very poor school district. My mom was a former educator so school was always very important in our family. So I worked hard and tried to soak up whatever was taught but I'd be willing to bet dollar to donuts my homework was not your homework. Our school only offered 1 AP class (that might not be the case today that was circa 2002) and even then it was only offered if enough kids signed up to take it. I don't complain about my kid's school even though I see gaps and faults because from my perspective it is like daylight and dark from my personal experience in public school. Anytime my kids complain I find myself saying things like, "I would've given my left leg to have what you guys have at school!" Their libraries alone are a thing to be admired. I have "classed-up" in my adult life and I live and work with people who did not grow up like I did and have virtually no point of reference of what a "poor" school actually looks like. We are electing 2 school board members in today's election in my town and I've heard a lot about how "terrible" our schools are and it is from classic, white, upper/middle class suburbanites. I guess that's a long way to say I think you're right lol. I did my student teaching in Milwaukee and I had a class of sophomores - US History. Half of them couldn't read above a 4th grade reading level. I had to use elementary text books with them, and it wasn't a Special Education class. There are so many things wrong in today's educational system. And Sarah's right, it's not the teachers.
I went to school with Amberlee, so co-sign!
Have you listened to the podcast “Nice White Parents”. It’s a few years old but addressed this very issue
I have not but I will!