Beth, I love your Christmas movie open invitation idea. My friend used to do something similar except it would be for the whole first weekend of December and called the "Merry Movie Marathon", Christmas movies going all day, board games going in the other room, lots of snacks and drinks, etc. It's a wonderful idea, I hope you have fun!
Just came here to say three quick things. 1- loved the episode and love Sarah and Beth
2- you definitely need to check out a UFC fight sometime. I had the most random opportunity to go to UFC 300 while in Las Vegas in April. I’d just complained that I didn’t understand why it was a sport + how gross it is and hours later was at the fight. Me, husband, thousands of others with Joe Rogan, Dana White and Mark Zuckerberg. Such an interesting environment! Way different than NFL or MLB games. I would go again. It is a gruesome sport- it’s giving Gladiator (shout to Gladiator II opening next week).
3- the viral clip about having to work (vs. SAHM) has such a backstory! I just listened to Diabolical Lies today and the woman who made that pitch was a Trump endorsed candidate for a Michigan seat (US House). She works for Turning Point USA! The episode was really good. They got in to more of her (sorry- I can’t remember her name right now) backstory (she has a blog) and wow is it fascinating. Plus her blog or Instagram handle has her aspirations noted that she is the next Phyllis Shaffly.
Thank you for this episode. And thanks for your encouragement to run for office. I’ve been laying the groundwork to run for city council & plan to file in January. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but our current councilman is in his 70s & ran unopposed 4 years ago & has not been great. I was talking to a woman from a nonprofit working in our city & she thanked me for running. She said “we can complain about our councilman as much as we want but until someone steps up to run against him, we have to work with him no matter how bad he is.”
In re to who to blame in medical situations: can't it be both? Couldn't it be some of the regulations AND also doctors not just doing their job? One story out there is a woman who died after Three visits to a hospital and the first visit was obviously a medical misdiagnosis. It's just so scary that few of us grew safe in our medical system no matter what the illness.
Before you guys even talked about Christmas, I was driving around Montana (where I live) and thought about how astounded I was at all the Christmas lights going up (so early) in a place of sturdy people and pragmatism. It feels like we all need some more joy in the form of an early Christmas this which makes me smile and makes me sad but that’s kind of how this weird life is sometimes.
I’m just now finishing this episode but I would like to invite Sarah and Beth to come to my library board meeting. You want to see the other side? That is where they are at. The words that keep rattling around in my head since the election is “the library is cooked, y’all”. I know there are other groups that also feel threatened, but we seriously just don’t have the numbers to fight the book banners. Oh well.
Outside of politics - For various reasons, my son and husband are going to be home for Thanksgiving, likely getting Popeye's. I will be visiting my daughter, who is a student in Chicago. We have narrowed it down to two restaurants that still have space for a Thanksgiving meal. One is a French restaurant that has great reviews and a 3-course prix fixe meal with several choices for each course. Looks great, but it is expensive. The other is a British restaurant that will have their regular menu plus a choice of the traditional British Sunday roast. And is about 65% of the cost of the French restaurant. But with only two of us, the cost will still likely be less than if the whole family went out for Thanksgiving. How do you all vote?
Oh, and I grew up in a place and time where people didn't put up Christmas trees until the week before - and sometimes the night before - Christmas, so putting them up now still feels super weird to me.
Sorry I can’t do this right now. Among my diagnosed cognitive distortions Catastrophizing is not. Actually, Minimizing is. I can really see it messing with me in many areas of my life. However, there’s an optimism on this conversation that made me turn it off and walk away to something else. It’s not that I am doom and gloom but when we start talking about Elon and Vivek getting serious and bringing value through an imaginary department of efficiency that needs, not very efficiently, two heads it seems to me that we are just whistling past the graveyard. I am not writing here to bash a show I love or the hostesses I respect. I guess I am just screaming in the void to see if there’s any echo that responds.
I’ll shout some more on this void. Another cognitive distortion I have been diagnosed with is “all or nothing”. Maybe that’s what’s at play here. My natural tendencies is to see in black and white extremes. I struggle and have to consciously made myself to see the spectrum of gray. That’s why my favorite slogan is “Keep it nuanced y’all”. It’s a reminder I need. I hate it too when I want to rage. So we chug along.
I keep mulling over this episode. I appreciate and agree with the notion that we need to understand the Trump voters and what is motivating them. What feels missing to me is, what about the potential Kamala/D voters who didn’t show up to vote? What is motivating them? Or what is obstructing them? I want to understand the center and progressive left as much as I want to understand the conservative left and right.
Also for me an answer to “you say Black women are carrying us, but what next?” is to read and learn from Black women activists and thinkers and follow their lead. I’m thinking Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown (lots there about going micro and building community.) How We Get Free about the Combahee River Collective. I’m an activist at heart, and I know that activism is not the same as politics. But effective strategy takes both.
You know, the Joe Biden of it all makes me think that the strategy we’re not tapping into is moving away from the rockstar savior to more of a team mentality. This is where real activism is rooted as well. Like geese. When the lead goose is tired, it moves to the back of the V and the next goose moves to the lead position. Had Joe been true to his word of being a one term president, we could have had four whole years of setting Kamala up for success instead of burying her achievements and saddling her with impossible tasks (the border), OR we could have had a healthy primary. We need to be thinking 20 years from now, not the next election cycle.
Disclaimer: I voted for Kamala Harris. But back when Joe Biden bombed his debate but before he stepped down I visited family in deep red Texas and several family members expressed that they did not want to vote for Trump, Biden was not a good choice and then they expressed that they did not like Kamala Harris because they didn't know her. And I agreed - Kamala who? I have not heard from her in almost 4 years and I follow her on Facebook. All I really knew that she was not able to keep staff and had a really turnover. And the whole process of her coming to be on the ticket was not transparent and did not feel democratic. But I think she would have been a good president. I am might not have been her biggest fan but I was a supporter.
I came here to see if anyone else would say this about Black women voters. 92% is huge and we need to look to these women and learn from them.
I wonder if we also need to understand that we are a young country and as the women’s movement was relatively recent, there is certainly bound to be backlash (might be the “tradwife” concept?) for each paradigm shift.
Also, maybe we need to rebuild. Sometimes things have to fall apart to come back together. None of us were promised democracy or that maintaining it would be easy. Maybe this is our generation’s fight so to speak.
I could talk for hours about conservative women, the trad wife movement, etc. My mom was a stay at home mom in the 90s, and she felt like people were always judging her for not working outside of the home. My sister desperately wanted to be a stay at mom when she had my niece, but has not been able to do so, because both of her marriages were short and unstable, and because when she was married, her ex-husbands' income was not enough to pay the bills. I have to remind them both (all the time!) that as a liberal leaning woman, I am not against women wanting to be stay at home moms. That I am not opposed to women choosing to live more conservative or traditional lives. I want to be able to make my own choices, and I want women like my sister and my mom to be able to make theirs. I frequently wonder how to communicate that to other conservative women. That is absolutely the perception in that camp--that people like me want to ruin their dreams. And that's not true.
Can we please have an episode on the lack of purpose? I am obsessed with all of the data on loneliness and I think it is so much more impactful than we realize.
I am a math teacher at the high school level and I agree that the math education is hard. I teach a majority of students who are pursuing vo-tech careers, ( I am so thankful for this program). As many things happen, the pendulum swung too far and now many people and kids are missing foundational basics of math. I don’t want to go back to my childhood of pure memory but we need a little more or more focus on numerical literacy.
For holiday fun, can I recommend a tea party. It is truly the best!
Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but this math isn’t mathing. How did we go from “record voter turnout” to both candidates receiving less votes? We have heard from numerous hard core republicans that were voting for Harris over Trump - I haven’t heard any stories of the opposite except maybe democrats voting third party as a Palestine protest vote. But when you add the third party numbers to Harris numbers, the math still isn’t mathing. We know this man doesn’t play fair - why are we just rolling over? I get that we don’t want to act like they did and make a hissy fit, but I sincerely hope there are people quietly working behind the scenes to get more information.
There wasn't record turnout. We thought there would be because so many people voted early, but it ends up that people just shifted their voting from Voting Day to early. This is the only the second presidential election that my state has had early voting, and we had more voters total in 2020. I think people are just becoming more accustomed to early voting.
"I see what you see. But I don't blame who you blame."
Had to fully pause the episode to come here and comment.
This is such a succint way of saying the feeling I've had towards Trumpsters and the right in general for a logn time. But especially after this election with the "economy" and "make America healthy" of it all.
Beth, I love your Christmas movie open invitation idea. My friend used to do something similar except it would be for the whole first weekend of December and called the "Merry Movie Marathon", Christmas movies going all day, board games going in the other room, lots of snacks and drinks, etc. It's a wonderful idea, I hope you have fun!
Just came here to say three quick things. 1- loved the episode and love Sarah and Beth
2- you definitely need to check out a UFC fight sometime. I had the most random opportunity to go to UFC 300 while in Las Vegas in April. I’d just complained that I didn’t understand why it was a sport + how gross it is and hours later was at the fight. Me, husband, thousands of others with Joe Rogan, Dana White and Mark Zuckerberg. Such an interesting environment! Way different than NFL or MLB games. I would go again. It is a gruesome sport- it’s giving Gladiator (shout to Gladiator II opening next week).
3- the viral clip about having to work (vs. SAHM) has such a backstory! I just listened to Diabolical Lies today and the woman who made that pitch was a Trump endorsed candidate for a Michigan seat (US House). She works for Turning Point USA! The episode was really good. They got in to more of her (sorry- I can’t remember her name right now) backstory (she has a blog) and wow is it fascinating. Plus her blog or Instagram handle has her aspirations noted that she is the next Phyllis Shaffly.
Link to that episode in case people are interested https://open.substack.com/pub/diabolicallies/p/what-a-viral-tradwife-rant-reveals?r=c2r6w&utm_medium=ios
Thank you for this episode. And thanks for your encouragement to run for office. I’ve been laying the groundwork to run for city council & plan to file in January. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but our current councilman is in his 70s & ran unopposed 4 years ago & has not been great. I was talking to a woman from a nonprofit working in our city & she thanked me for running. She said “we can complain about our councilman as much as we want but until someone steps up to run against him, we have to work with him no matter how bad he is.”
In re to who to blame in medical situations: can't it be both? Couldn't it be some of the regulations AND also doctors not just doing their job? One story out there is a woman who died after Three visits to a hospital and the first visit was obviously a medical misdiagnosis. It's just so scary that few of us grew safe in our medical system no matter what the illness.
Before you guys even talked about Christmas, I was driving around Montana (where I live) and thought about how astounded I was at all the Christmas lights going up (so early) in a place of sturdy people and pragmatism. It feels like we all need some more joy in the form of an early Christmas this which makes me smile and makes me sad but that’s kind of how this weird life is sometimes.
I’m just now finishing this episode but I would like to invite Sarah and Beth to come to my library board meeting. You want to see the other side? That is where they are at. The words that keep rattling around in my head since the election is “the library is cooked, y’all”. I know there are other groups that also feel threatened, but we seriously just don’t have the numbers to fight the book banners. Oh well.
I’m so sorry. Thank you for the work you’re doing.
Fight the book banners. Why can’t I edit.
Outside of politics - For various reasons, my son and husband are going to be home for Thanksgiving, likely getting Popeye's. I will be visiting my daughter, who is a student in Chicago. We have narrowed it down to two restaurants that still have space for a Thanksgiving meal. One is a French restaurant that has great reviews and a 3-course prix fixe meal with several choices for each course. Looks great, but it is expensive. The other is a British restaurant that will have their regular menu plus a choice of the traditional British Sunday roast. And is about 65% of the cost of the French restaurant. But with only two of us, the cost will still likely be less than if the whole family went out for Thanksgiving. How do you all vote?
Oh, and I grew up in a place and time where people didn't put up Christmas trees until the week before - and sometimes the night before - Christmas, so putting them up now still feels super weird to me.
Sorry I can’t do this right now. Among my diagnosed cognitive distortions Catastrophizing is not. Actually, Minimizing is. I can really see it messing with me in many areas of my life. However, there’s an optimism on this conversation that made me turn it off and walk away to something else. It’s not that I am doom and gloom but when we start talking about Elon and Vivek getting serious and bringing value through an imaginary department of efficiency that needs, not very efficiently, two heads it seems to me that we are just whistling past the graveyard. I am not writing here to bash a show I love or the hostesses I respect. I guess I am just screaming in the void to see if there’s any echo that responds.
I’ll shout some more on this void. Another cognitive distortion I have been diagnosed with is “all or nothing”. Maybe that’s what’s at play here. My natural tendencies is to see in black and white extremes. I struggle and have to consciously made myself to see the spectrum of gray. That’s why my favorite slogan is “Keep it nuanced y’all”. It’s a reminder I need. I hate it too when I want to rage. So we chug along.
I keep mulling over this episode. I appreciate and agree with the notion that we need to understand the Trump voters and what is motivating them. What feels missing to me is, what about the potential Kamala/D voters who didn’t show up to vote? What is motivating them? Or what is obstructing them? I want to understand the center and progressive left as much as I want to understand the conservative left and right.
Also for me an answer to “you say Black women are carrying us, but what next?” is to read and learn from Black women activists and thinkers and follow their lead. I’m thinking Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown (lots there about going micro and building community.) How We Get Free about the Combahee River Collective. I’m an activist at heart, and I know that activism is not the same as politics. But effective strategy takes both.
You know, the Joe Biden of it all makes me think that the strategy we’re not tapping into is moving away from the rockstar savior to more of a team mentality. This is where real activism is rooted as well. Like geese. When the lead goose is tired, it moves to the back of the V and the next goose moves to the lead position. Had Joe been true to his word of being a one term president, we could have had four whole years of setting Kamala up for success instead of burying her achievements and saddling her with impossible tasks (the border), OR we could have had a healthy primary. We need to be thinking 20 years from now, not the next election cycle.
Disclaimer: I voted for Kamala Harris. But back when Joe Biden bombed his debate but before he stepped down I visited family in deep red Texas and several family members expressed that they did not want to vote for Trump, Biden was not a good choice and then they expressed that they did not like Kamala Harris because they didn't know her. And I agreed - Kamala who? I have not heard from her in almost 4 years and I follow her on Facebook. All I really knew that she was not able to keep staff and had a really turnover. And the whole process of her coming to be on the ticket was not transparent and did not feel democratic. But I think she would have been a good president. I am might not have been her biggest fan but I was a supporter.
I came here to see if anyone else would say this about Black women voters. 92% is huge and we need to look to these women and learn from them.
I wonder if we also need to understand that we are a young country and as the women’s movement was relatively recent, there is certainly bound to be backlash (might be the “tradwife” concept?) for each paradigm shift.
I wonder if we’re in that now. 🤷🏻♀️
Also, maybe we need to rebuild. Sometimes things have to fall apart to come back together. None of us were promised democracy or that maintaining it would be easy. Maybe this is our generation’s fight so to speak.
I could talk for hours about conservative women, the trad wife movement, etc. My mom was a stay at home mom in the 90s, and she felt like people were always judging her for not working outside of the home. My sister desperately wanted to be a stay at mom when she had my niece, but has not been able to do so, because both of her marriages were short and unstable, and because when she was married, her ex-husbands' income was not enough to pay the bills. I have to remind them both (all the time!) that as a liberal leaning woman, I am not against women wanting to be stay at home moms. That I am not opposed to women choosing to live more conservative or traditional lives. I want to be able to make my own choices, and I want women like my sister and my mom to be able to make theirs. I frequently wonder how to communicate that to other conservative women. That is absolutely the perception in that camp--that people like me want to ruin their dreams. And that's not true.
Anyone have a link to the video of the trad-wife with the rose-gold hat that keeps getting mentioned?
Can we please have an episode on the lack of purpose? I am obsessed with all of the data on loneliness and I think it is so much more impactful than we realize.
I am a math teacher at the high school level and I agree that the math education is hard. I teach a majority of students who are pursuing vo-tech careers, ( I am so thankful for this program). As many things happen, the pendulum swung too far and now many people and kids are missing foundational basics of math. I don’t want to go back to my childhood of pure memory but we need a little more or more focus on numerical literacy.
For holiday fun, can I recommend a tea party. It is truly the best!
Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but this math isn’t mathing. How did we go from “record voter turnout” to both candidates receiving less votes? We have heard from numerous hard core republicans that were voting for Harris over Trump - I haven’t heard any stories of the opposite except maybe democrats voting third party as a Palestine protest vote. But when you add the third party numbers to Harris numbers, the math still isn’t mathing. We know this man doesn’t play fair - why are we just rolling over? I get that we don’t want to act like they did and make a hissy fit, but I sincerely hope there are people quietly working behind the scenes to get more information.
There wasn't record turnout. We thought there would be because so many people voted early, but it ends up that people just shifted their voting from Voting Day to early. This is the only the second presidential election that my state has had early voting, and we had more voters total in 2020. I think people are just becoming more accustomed to early voting.
Emily Amick of Emilyinyourphone would be a good guest to talk about the tradwives/conservative influencer stuff
"I see what you see. But I don't blame who you blame."
Had to fully pause the episode to come here and comment.
This is such a succint way of saying the feeling I've had towards Trumpsters and the right in general for a logn time. But especially after this election with the "economy" and "make America healthy" of it all.