Dear Pantsuit Politics: How do I talk to my kid about war?
And what's your advice for someone going back to the office????
Next week, Beth is sharing two Q&A episodes on More to Say called “Dear Beth.” These are advice-column-style questions from our audience about everything from politics to policy to just being a person in 2026.
Here’s a question from Victoria that we wanted to share with everyone:
I have a serious and a less serious question:
1) how to put context around the war for kids? My 12 year old is very anxious. I remember how I felt during 9/11 when I was 12 but also the odd reality of how ‘normal’ everyday life felt.
2) I’m going back to formal workforce after working from home for myself for a decade …. HALP!!! Encouragement? How do I interact with coworkers? How do I pace myself during a traditional work day? How can I set myself up for success?
Talking to Your 12-Year-Old About War
I see and honor your 12-year-old’s feelings. That’s the place to begin. War is scary. It makes all of us anxious. It’s mature and caring to be worried for the world and people all over it. It’s a sign of a tender heart to experience the dissonance of knowing that while you took an algebra test, a school across the ocean was destroyed by bombs. Being mature, caring, and tender-hearted sucks sometimes. I think it’s good to be honest with our kids about this truth.
War is scary even when we clearly understand why it’s happening. It’s even scarier this time because we really don’t. This seems to be a war in search of a why. It’s hard knowing that sometimes adults, even the adults in the most powerful positions on earth, make catastrophic mistakes.
To me, that’s the most important context. Sometimes we make catastrophic mistakes, and then we have to figure out what happens next. We always do, in some form.
If I were sitting with you and your 12-year-old, I would do my best to answer any questions. I would be honest about all that I don’t know. I would say clearly that I don’t know much because we are somewhere in the middle of this mess. Maybe we’d talk about living through 9/11, which is a reminder that every person who has ever lived has seen some very scary events unfold. I think we’d talk about how all of us have moments in our lives that we think we can’t survive.
We get through those moments together. We adapt. We learn. We make our own mistakes, and we hope our mistakes are better ones than the people who came before us. We keep loving each other. That’s how we have a good life in a chaotic world.
Re-entering the Workforce
Victoria, I’m going to answer all of your questions with one sentiment: Value your experience. I’m your personal hype-woman right now. See everything that feels out of place in your new workplace as a strength, and set your intention to make it so.
You worked for yourself for a decade that was extremely tumultuous in the world?
You must have great adaptability, foresight, and problem-solving skills.
You worked from home during this time?
That takes real focus and discipline.
Sounds like you’re also raising a family during this time?
I bet you can prioritize with the best.
You’re also arriving in this new role without the baggage of how the old company did it, or what the old office felt like, or what the current dynamics are in this place. You’re bringing in a fresh perspective. When a person is able to combine a fresh perspective with genuine curiosity about the new environment, that’s hugely valuable.
I want you to go in with confidence that you know exactly how to pace your day because you’ve been pacing your days in a much harder, more ambiguous environment. You’ll be able to meet whatever challenges this workplace throws at you because you’ve been solving problems in your business for ten years.
If a voice in your head is undercutting you, make a list of the specific things you’re good at. Remember that workplaces of all kinds struggle to find people who can stay calm in a crisis, who give and take feedback graciously, who know how to speak to another human being on the phone, and who listen to colleagues without distraction. There are so many things that I bet you do without thinking about them that your new employer is over the moon to find in you.