What a beautiful reflection on tracking and the belief that if you do enough good, bad things won't happen to you. I use the chaos lottery (a term I use all the time) together with Buddhist Five Remembrances (which I tell myself every day). Being a completely enlightened being does not save you from these fates, and bad things will happen because that is the nature of life. You must relinquish control to live a more fulfilling life. Honestly with all the chaos of being a federal employees right now it is one of the few things that keep me grounded.
I am of the nature to grow old: Recognizing that aging is a natural process everyone experiences.
I am of the nature to become ill: Acknowledging that sickness and disease are inevitable parts of life.
I am of the nature to die: Accepting the certainty of death as the ultimate end of all beings.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love is of the nature to change: Recognizing that everything and everyone we cherish is subject to change and eventual separation.
My actions are my only true belongings: Understanding that our actions, both positive and negative, determine our experiences and consequences in this life and beyond.
I wonder how much the tracking thing is generational. I am an elder milennial (1984) and sharing location/tracking seems very weird to me. My oldest is 12 and doesn’t have a phone yet. But seems younger folks do it more. Gonna go poll some friends and FB groups 😆
I am in my early 40s. My husband and I have been married almost 21 years. All we ever wanted was to have children. After myriads of testing, our infertility is unexplained. No one knows the reason. IVF is too expensive, there was legitimately no way we could afford it after paying so much money because our insurance didn't cover any infertility treatments or care.
WHO now says 1 in 6 couples struggles with infertility.
In my personal friend group are four couples who have infertility and could not have children and three couples for sure who had infertility and with various treatments have children. These are all people in my close friend group. These numbers are scary and insane.
So whenever talk of this natalist crap comes up I honestly want to throw things. Something is going on, that something (which is I am sure a lot of somethings) is causing infertility. So many women I know WANT to have babies. And we can't have babies.
The pain of this, and the layers of grief it holds, and hearing this shit from the administration and also everywhere.....it makes life very very hard. I actually believe this is a large political issue. I would love a show on this topic. Ezra Klein had a series last year and I was supremely disappointed because in ALL the talk of birth rates they didn't discuss the 1 in 6 number. And that is a huge piece of declining birth rates.
I really appreciated the point that Western countries have more progressive pro-family policies than the US and their birth rates are still declining. That had never occurred to me! I'm wondering if the loneliness epidemic is related to lowering birth rates? It's a worldwide phenomenon, and if we're not in relationship with each other (as much as we used to be) and we're so much more isolated, than maybe we've just lost sight of the value in producing those kinds of familial relationships?
The replacement rate is every women having 2.1 babies. So for every women who choses to not have kids or can't have them, that means every childbearing women having 3 or 4. Once women get the choice over their fertility, we're like, hell no, we're not all just going to be baby making machines. Some of us want just one, some two, much fewer want 3+. That's just reality, no matter how much you incentivize it.
I was surprised that immigration wasn't mentioned in connection with the natalism conversation. If we take racism out of the conversation (😬) what is the purpose of the natalist desire for more births? My assumption was that it was for economic growth? Can't that be achieved with immigration?
I scrolled through the comments to see if anyone else was thinking women’s enfranchisement and pro-choice movement as supporting reasons for a declining birth rate. That’s where my mind went too! People do not have to become pregnant and stay pregnant like past generations did. I am a person who wanted to have a child and couldn’t, but I appreciate that it was my choice to try. And I appreciate so much the medical intervention that gave me options for proceeding when trying unassisted didn’t work. I hope that doesn’t go away for others in a similar position.
The tracking conversation was interesting too. I share my location with my husband, 2 sisters and 4 friends. And I rarely check it for any of them unless I’m expecting them to come over. I do like that find my friends allows you to send a temporary location share for an ETA or during large group events. Some of the people I share with do check it a lot and I’ve gotten a text before checking in on me. Overall it’s been a fun addition and helpful but no one abuses the convenience. I mostly think I’m too attentive to other people’s needs since they can reach me whenever they want and I’m trying to practice better boundaries of not always replying or answering calls.
Seems like it’s the unpopular opinion, but tracking is so normal for my entire family. My sisters and I look at each other’s locations all the time and it’s not weird at all. But our kids are all still toddlers, so we haven’t used it in a parenting context yet 🤷🏻♀️
This didn’t get brought up on the show but one of the best answers to our problem of having an aging population and less births overall seems to be immigration. I know that isn’t what the Trump Administration wants but it is how we thrive as a nation and take care of aging population.
So, we have life 360 and I really like it for the convenience…. I generally don’t track my kids when they are w/friends/movies etc. However, my son plays baseball (sometimes with the JV team and sometimes with the freshman team) and the fields are often not at the high-school complex in our area. So instead of trying to figure which team he is on every game and where all the fields are, I just find him on life 360 and get directions to him 😂.
With regard to tracking: My husband and I were letting my god daughter stay with us while she was pregnant and she pulled a stupid and caught a shoplifting charge. I used Life 360 strictly as a punishment after I posted bail for her cause I didn't trust her after that. It was more "hey I can't completely ground you cause you're not my kid but trust has been damaged so I'm gonna be watching you extra." It was kept on my phone for about six months and she moved out after her son was born and soon after that my husband and I looked at each other and were "Do we really need this app on our phones for us?" and we both said no and promptly un-installed the app from our phones.
Such a good show. Just read about the pro natal conference and the odd mixture of folks in Austin recently. Thanks for directing me to this fresh hell. But my real concern is desperate women vying for the birth dollars who develop pregnancy complications, live in an anti abortion state and add to the horrifying numbers of women who's lives can be jeopardized by pregnancy. This trend is troubling for all the reasons mentioned. Add to this the absolute hypocrisy (esp. Mr. Doge the sperm donor and dodger of the very parental role he requires of others), the lack of support to families, the insulting characterization of feminists, and on and on. I am so embarrassed right now that I live here. My message to women: have a baby if and when you want one. Or not.
The outside politics was the conversation l needed to hear. As a parent and especially as a teacher, I have grappled with the monetization of fear. My district has purchased software designed to make alerts and communication during an emergency more centralized and account for students and provide easier reunification in the case of a chaotic evacuation. It takes up space on my phone, is glitchy, and once sent me and a class into full lock down because it was accidentally triggered (but because it is glitchy, I couldn’t see that it was a mistake because I don’t get a good cell signal in my classroom.) I felt like Sarah was able to put to words my extreme feelings about the topic when she voiced that the companies are selling a lie that if you use this, bad things won’t happen. And Beth’s articulation about the harm really hit home - forcing this in teachers and spending budget money on this causes harm - it is not neutral. I am so thankful as always for the way that Sarah and Beth help me process my feelings about so many things (politics and otherwise!)
What a beautiful reflection on tracking and the belief that if you do enough good, bad things won't happen to you. I use the chaos lottery (a term I use all the time) together with Buddhist Five Remembrances (which I tell myself every day). Being a completely enlightened being does not save you from these fates, and bad things will happen because that is the nature of life. You must relinquish control to live a more fulfilling life. Honestly with all the chaos of being a federal employees right now it is one of the few things that keep me grounded.
I am of the nature to grow old: Recognizing that aging is a natural process everyone experiences.
I am of the nature to become ill: Acknowledging that sickness and disease are inevitable parts of life.
I am of the nature to die: Accepting the certainty of death as the ultimate end of all beings.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love is of the nature to change: Recognizing that everything and everyone we cherish is subject to change and eventual separation.
My actions are my only true belongings: Understanding that our actions, both positive and negative, determine our experiences and consequences in this life and beyond.
No tracking here! (&I have a 16 year old driver). I say all the time I'm trying to live a little like it's 1999 lol
I wonder how much the tracking thing is generational. I am an elder milennial (1984) and sharing location/tracking seems very weird to me. My oldest is 12 and doesn’t have a phone yet. But seems younger folks do it more. Gonna go poll some friends and FB groups 😆
I am in my early 40s. My husband and I have been married almost 21 years. All we ever wanted was to have children. After myriads of testing, our infertility is unexplained. No one knows the reason. IVF is too expensive, there was legitimately no way we could afford it after paying so much money because our insurance didn't cover any infertility treatments or care.
WHO now says 1 in 6 couples struggles with infertility.
In my personal friend group are four couples who have infertility and could not have children and three couples for sure who had infertility and with various treatments have children. These are all people in my close friend group. These numbers are scary and insane.
So whenever talk of this natalist crap comes up I honestly want to throw things. Something is going on, that something (which is I am sure a lot of somethings) is causing infertility. So many women I know WANT to have babies. And we can't have babies.
The pain of this, and the layers of grief it holds, and hearing this shit from the administration and also everywhere.....it makes life very very hard. I actually believe this is a large political issue. I would love a show on this topic. Ezra Klein had a series last year and I was supremely disappointed because in ALL the talk of birth rates they didn't discuss the 1 in 6 number. And that is a huge piece of declining birth rates.
Sorry so long.
Thank you for sharing. Ideologies that reduce women to childbearing, and thus spit in the face of those who cannot, are so hurtful and dehumanizing.
I really appreciated the point that Western countries have more progressive pro-family policies than the US and their birth rates are still declining. That had never occurred to me! I'm wondering if the loneliness epidemic is related to lowering birth rates? It's a worldwide phenomenon, and if we're not in relationship with each other (as much as we used to be) and we're so much more isolated, than maybe we've just lost sight of the value in producing those kinds of familial relationships?
The replacement rate is every women having 2.1 babies. So for every women who choses to not have kids or can't have them, that means every childbearing women having 3 or 4. Once women get the choice over their fertility, we're like, hell no, we're not all just going to be baby making machines. Some of us want just one, some two, much fewer want 3+. That's just reality, no matter how much you incentivize it.
I was surprised that immigration wasn't mentioned in connection with the natalism conversation. If we take racism out of the conversation (😬) what is the purpose of the natalist desire for more births? My assumption was that it was for economic growth? Can't that be achieved with immigration?
I scrolled through the comments to see if anyone else was thinking women’s enfranchisement and pro-choice movement as supporting reasons for a declining birth rate. That’s where my mind went too! People do not have to become pregnant and stay pregnant like past generations did. I am a person who wanted to have a child and couldn’t, but I appreciate that it was my choice to try. And I appreciate so much the medical intervention that gave me options for proceeding when trying unassisted didn’t work. I hope that doesn’t go away for others in a similar position.
The tracking conversation was interesting too. I share my location with my husband, 2 sisters and 4 friends. And I rarely check it for any of them unless I’m expecting them to come over. I do like that find my friends allows you to send a temporary location share for an ETA or during large group events. Some of the people I share with do check it a lot and I’ve gotten a text before checking in on me. Overall it’s been a fun addition and helpful but no one abuses the convenience. I mostly think I’m too attentive to other people’s needs since they can reach me whenever they want and I’m trying to practice better boundaries of not always replying or answering calls.
You couldn't pay me enough to have another kid, but I'd be open to negotiating this list of other kinds of incentives.
https://open.substack.com/pub/jopiazza/p/21-things-it-would-take-for-me-to?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=4ya71
At the mention of Victoria Ratliff, Brandon went, “Elon, no-oo”
Seems like it’s the unpopular opinion, but tracking is so normal for my entire family. My sisters and I look at each other’s locations all the time and it’s not weird at all. But our kids are all still toddlers, so we haven’t used it in a parenting context yet 🤷🏻♀️
This didn’t get brought up on the show but one of the best answers to our problem of having an aging population and less births overall seems to be immigration. I know that isn’t what the Trump Administration wants but it is how we thrive as a nation and take care of aging population.
So, we have life 360 and I really like it for the convenience…. I generally don’t track my kids when they are w/friends/movies etc. However, my son plays baseball (sometimes with the JV team and sometimes with the freshman team) and the fields are often not at the high-school complex in our area. So instead of trying to figure which team he is on every game and where all the fields are, I just find him on life 360 and get directions to him 😂.
If only Mary and Joseph had had a tracker on Jesus when they were traveling with their family
With regard to tracking: My husband and I were letting my god daughter stay with us while she was pregnant and she pulled a stupid and caught a shoplifting charge. I used Life 360 strictly as a punishment after I posted bail for her cause I didn't trust her after that. It was more "hey I can't completely ground you cause you're not my kid but trust has been damaged so I'm gonna be watching you extra." It was kept on my phone for about six months and she moved out after her son was born and soon after that my husband and I looked at each other and were "Do we really need this app on our phones for us?" and we both said no and promptly un-installed the app from our phones.
Such a good show. Just read about the pro natal conference and the odd mixture of folks in Austin recently. Thanks for directing me to this fresh hell. But my real concern is desperate women vying for the birth dollars who develop pregnancy complications, live in an anti abortion state and add to the horrifying numbers of women who's lives can be jeopardized by pregnancy. This trend is troubling for all the reasons mentioned. Add to this the absolute hypocrisy (esp. Mr. Doge the sperm donor and dodger of the very parental role he requires of others), the lack of support to families, the insulting characterization of feminists, and on and on. I am so embarrassed right now that I live here. My message to women: have a baby if and when you want one. Or not.
The outside politics was the conversation l needed to hear. As a parent and especially as a teacher, I have grappled with the monetization of fear. My district has purchased software designed to make alerts and communication during an emergency more centralized and account for students and provide easier reunification in the case of a chaotic evacuation. It takes up space on my phone, is glitchy, and once sent me and a class into full lock down because it was accidentally triggered (but because it is glitchy, I couldn’t see that it was a mistake because I don’t get a good cell signal in my classroom.) I felt like Sarah was able to put to words my extreme feelings about the topic when she voiced that the companies are selling a lie that if you use this, bad things won’t happen. And Beth’s articulation about the harm really hit home - forcing this in teachers and spending budget money on this causes harm - it is not neutral. I am so thankful as always for the way that Sarah and Beth help me process my feelings about so many things (politics and otherwise!)