Hearing Sarah's perspective about being an only child is hitting home here .. I have a two year old and we've decided to stop after one as it feels the best decision for our family right now, but I do have the fear of my daughter having the same feelings as Sarah is sharing as she grows up.
P.S. loved the sports discussion at the end! Big college football fan over here and couldn't agree with Beth more, especially coming from Pennsylvania. Football = fall, bring on the cool temps and hoodies at the game. Go Penn State! :)
Chiming in from the Great state of Texas , Houston to be precise. I’m not a sports fan but I will tell you both our professional baseball and professional football arenas have roofs that close and A/C cause it isn’t 90F down on the field. It’s 120 F
UGA??!!! Sarah, I had NO IDEA ... we are a big Georgia Tech family (three generations!) ... ask Nicholas about that. And Beth, my daughters are almost 5 years apart - they're now 38 and 33 and have such a wonderful relationship (they still(?!) both live near me and we have a great time together, too). I picked up knitting again after a 10year-ish lapse when the older one got to middle school so I could sit at the kitchen table and just ... listen. It is important time. and this was before cell phones. I cannot imagine what it's like for y'all.
Re: Sarah talking about getting out in the streets for something positive: my hometown does a Butterfly Festival every year in honor of monarch butterflies’ migration. There is a huge butterfly garden downtown and the festival centers around it. This year, a local immigration rights group is holding a rally during the festival called Migration is Beautiful. That’s the kind of positive rally I can get behind! ☺️
On the only child or siblings discussion, I have an only and I’m happy about that choice. For us it was a choice and I know that’s not always the case. As for my daughter, I think she’s mostly fine with it. I do wish we were closer geographically to cousins because she’s really loved when we’ve managed cousin get togethers and family gatherings. We’ve tried to fill in that gap with close family friends.
On the sleeping discussion, I have my very own room and it’s heavenly. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. My own decor, my own bathroom (!!!), my own closets. Someday we’ll downsize and I’ll have to give some of this up but I absolutely love this setup and I sleep pretty well for a woman in perimenopause!
On the football weather conversation - several years ago, before the Chargers left San Diego, I overheard a guy in a bar explaining that San Diego isn't a football town because the weather is too good in the fall/winter: "In the northeast and midwest, it's too cold, you have to just sit inside and watch games all day. But if the Chargers aren't playing well, screw it, I'm going to the beach."
Also, every year I end up watching at least part of a game where it's snowing, and I wonder about the people who paid so much money to sit there and be cold and miserable for 3+ hours.
If you're used to snow and cold, you aren't cold and miserable for those 3+ hours. We know how to dress/come prepared! (The invention of rechargeable hand warmers, battery-heated socks, hats, and coats are a lovely gift to humanity.) I would happily, joyously go to a football game in the snow. A football game in anything over 70* is misery. I'm with Beth on this one.
xoxo, former Denver Bronco season ticket holder (who gave them up when she had kids because toddlers at professional football games are impossible)
We recently bought a sleep number heating and cooling spilt king and we will never ever go back! It’s downright ridiculous how much better I sleep! My husband and I have different sleep numbers, he uses cooling and I use foot warmer to go to sleep. We don’t have the separate comforters yet but it’s our plan… he’s from Norway and separate comforters is the norm there but we always did the American way. We will soon change that and never look back 😆
While some of us wanted siblings and never got them, some of us didn’t get what we needed from our parents because their energy was being put into our sibling. The grass isn’t always greener & we really are all just doing the best we can with the family decisions we make at the time.
I think I’m feeling a touch defensive over my choice to not actively pursue having a second child after a couple years of trying & loss. I am at peace with the energy & attention I can give my daughter because she is my sole focus.
In general, I think this topic should be treated with delicacy & nuance.
Re the split king: my husband and I tried that years ago and hated it. Luckily we were within the time frame to exchange it so we did. It sounded amazing in theory but in reality it felt like your bed was small, it in no way felt like a king size bed. We were already developing a divot in the middle of our individual beds causing us to sleep even further apart. It was Tempurpedic and we’re not big people so 🤷🏻♀️. We’ve had a sleep number mattress on an ergonomic base for 10+ years now and love it! My husband snores but I’ll lift our bed up until he stops and then I’ll put it back down. It’s worked for us so far!
Also, I’m with Beth, I find it almost impossible to sleep when my husband is gone.
As a mom of 4, my first was the hardest for me. She rocked my world. All of the changes that came with first time motherhood were a lot for me as I had been very independent & free spirited & I also felt the pressure to do everything right. By the second I’d learned you won’t do everything right & that’s ok. Plus I’d already breastfed before, recovered from birth before, etc. I also think siblings are such a great gift. I’m one of 5 kids & my mom says that siblings knock the rough edges off of you. I have a good friend who is not planning to have more than one child, and I respect her decision but also don’t think she’s looking at it from the perspective of her child & the gift that siblings are.
Obviously I don't know and can't speak for your friend, but as someone who has chosen to only have one kid, I can say that for me, the options are either give my daughter a sibling OR give her a functioning, mentally-fit mother. There are many factors that went into our decision, but one of them was that having a second child would mean a huge sacrifice for my mental health and well-being.
As someone who played under those Friday Night Lights in Texas, there's something to the vibe of the early season games in the heat. It also made you cherish when the weather changed to sweater time since it was a) sweater/jacket season, and b) district play. If I were to take my pick of seasons to watch football in Texas, I'll take it hot.
Hearing Sarah's perspective about being an only child is hitting home here .. I have a two year old and we've decided to stop after one as it feels the best decision for our family right now, but I do have the fear of my daughter having the same feelings as Sarah is sharing as she grows up.
P.S. loved the sports discussion at the end! Big college football fan over here and couldn't agree with Beth more, especially coming from Pennsylvania. Football = fall, bring on the cool temps and hoodies at the game. Go Penn State! :)
🤣 “Listen Linda!!”
Chiming in from the Great state of Texas , Houston to be precise. I’m not a sports fan but I will tell you both our professional baseball and professional football arenas have roofs that close and A/C cause it isn’t 90F down on the field. It’s 120 F
UGA??!!! Sarah, I had NO IDEA ... we are a big Georgia Tech family (three generations!) ... ask Nicholas about that. And Beth, my daughters are almost 5 years apart - they're now 38 and 33 and have such a wonderful relationship (they still(?!) both live near me and we have a great time together, too). I picked up knitting again after a 10year-ish lapse when the older one got to middle school so I could sit at the kitchen table and just ... listen. It is important time. and this was before cell phones. I cannot imagine what it's like for y'all.
Adding another perspective about only children! And episode from The Rare Life sharing personal stories and feelings from a medically complex POV. 🫶
https://anchor.fm/s/22c0499c/podcast/play/108131657/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2025-8-11%2F7c2cef1f-c7ee-b0c0-ffd1-099afc0ae3c3.mp3
Snoring is not generic specific!
Re: Sarah talking about getting out in the streets for something positive: my hometown does a Butterfly Festival every year in honor of monarch butterflies’ migration. There is a huge butterfly garden downtown and the festival centers around it. This year, a local immigration rights group is holding a rally during the festival called Migration is Beautiful. That’s the kind of positive rally I can get behind! ☺️
On the only child or siblings discussion, I have an only and I’m happy about that choice. For us it was a choice and I know that’s not always the case. As for my daughter, I think she’s mostly fine with it. I do wish we were closer geographically to cousins because she’s really loved when we’ve managed cousin get togethers and family gatherings. We’ve tried to fill in that gap with close family friends.
On the sleeping discussion, I have my very own room and it’s heavenly. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. My own decor, my own bathroom (!!!), my own closets. Someday we’ll downsize and I’ll have to give some of this up but I absolutely love this setup and I sleep pretty well for a woman in perimenopause!
On the football weather conversation - several years ago, before the Chargers left San Diego, I overheard a guy in a bar explaining that San Diego isn't a football town because the weather is too good in the fall/winter: "In the northeast and midwest, it's too cold, you have to just sit inside and watch games all day. But if the Chargers aren't playing well, screw it, I'm going to the beach."
Also, every year I end up watching at least part of a game where it's snowing, and I wonder about the people who paid so much money to sit there and be cold and miserable for 3+ hours.
If you're used to snow and cold, you aren't cold and miserable for those 3+ hours. We know how to dress/come prepared! (The invention of rechargeable hand warmers, battery-heated socks, hats, and coats are a lovely gift to humanity.) I would happily, joyously go to a football game in the snow. A football game in anything over 70* is misery. I'm with Beth on this one.
xoxo, former Denver Bronco season ticket holder (who gave them up when she had kids because toddlers at professional football games are impossible)
I just do not enjoy football enough to put myself through that 😂 give me 75 degrees+ in the bleachers of a baseball game any day
Beth is 100% correct about football weather. We should be bundled up, woodsmoke in the air, hot cocoa in a thermos.
I will raise my hot apple cider to this!
We recently bought a sleep number heating and cooling spilt king and we will never ever go back! It’s downright ridiculous how much better I sleep! My husband and I have different sleep numbers, he uses cooling and I use foot warmer to go to sleep. We don’t have the separate comforters yet but it’s our plan… he’s from Norway and separate comforters is the norm there but we always did the American way. We will soon change that and never look back 😆
While some of us wanted siblings and never got them, some of us didn’t get what we needed from our parents because their energy was being put into our sibling. The grass isn’t always greener & we really are all just doing the best we can with the family decisions we make at the time.
I think I’m feeling a touch defensive over my choice to not actively pursue having a second child after a couple years of trying & loss. I am at peace with the energy & attention I can give my daughter because she is my sole focus.
In general, I think this topic should be treated with delicacy & nuance.
Re the split king: my husband and I tried that years ago and hated it. Luckily we were within the time frame to exchange it so we did. It sounded amazing in theory but in reality it felt like your bed was small, it in no way felt like a king size bed. We were already developing a divot in the middle of our individual beds causing us to sleep even further apart. It was Tempurpedic and we’re not big people so 🤷🏻♀️. We’ve had a sleep number mattress on an ergonomic base for 10+ years now and love it! My husband snores but I’ll lift our bed up until he stops and then I’ll put it back down. It’s worked for us so far!
Also, I’m with Beth, I find it almost impossible to sleep when my husband is gone.
As a mom of 4, my first was the hardest for me. She rocked my world. All of the changes that came with first time motherhood were a lot for me as I had been very independent & free spirited & I also felt the pressure to do everything right. By the second I’d learned you won’t do everything right & that’s ok. Plus I’d already breastfed before, recovered from birth before, etc. I also think siblings are such a great gift. I’m one of 5 kids & my mom says that siblings knock the rough edges off of you. I have a good friend who is not planning to have more than one child, and I respect her decision but also don’t think she’s looking at it from the perspective of her child & the gift that siblings are.
Obviously I don't know and can't speak for your friend, but as someone who has chosen to only have one kid, I can say that for me, the options are either give my daughter a sibling OR give her a functioning, mentally-fit mother. There are many factors that went into our decision, but one of them was that having a second child would mean a huge sacrifice for my mental health and well-being.
Allison, I had postpartum depression and anxiety after having my second kid. It was the absolute worst. Kudos to you for knowing what you need.
As someone who played under those Friday Night Lights in Texas, there's something to the vibe of the early season games in the heat. It also made you cherish when the weather changed to sweater time since it was a) sweater/jacket season, and b) district play. If I were to take my pick of seasons to watch football in Texas, I'll take it hot.