It's so discouraging, part of me wants the America of the past, while knowing now what I did not realize then, that the America of my childhood in New Jersey, in a neighborhood crafted after the war strictly for white servicemen and their families, did not serve everyone. Now, living in Trumps America, I'm struggling to understand my sister and countless others who after being outraged by Obama's I have a phone and a pen comment, have little or nothing to say about what Trump is doing. I wish to never again hear that we chose this man, many of us did not ever vote for Trump.
I have a 14 year old nephew about to start high school next year. Now, he's always had a heart of gold and he's my only nephew so I will say I'm totally biased to think he's amazing (he IS amazing). But, all of this crap happening in the world has caused him rethink his "I want to be an engineer when I grow up" to thinking he wants to be an immigration lawyer. Now he's 14, who knows where he lands in life, but I wonder how much of this "chaos" is going to spur a generation to become a Lorax of sorts. Trying to keep a glass half full is a struggle these days, so I find solace that maybe the younger generation will not look at view the fever swamps as overwhelming and become defeated, but hear a rally cry instead.
Have you considered giving Ellen permission to draw when she finishes her test, even though they said absolutely not?
I am a recovering rule follower. Sometimes rules are just dumb.
On another note, my younger son who is now 31 doodled instead of taking his SAT. Of course the counselor called me. I was very upset. He ended up never taking the SAT, went to a special art school program (UNC school of the arts, which was free, by the way) his senior year in high school. He then got a full scholarship to an art school/university to study automotive design and is a car designer. Yes, some of his choices made me very nervous, but I learned we don’t all follow the same path. I retired as a nurse practitioner a few years ago, and they were always lots of rules that had to be followed. I also agree with asking, pushing back. It’s a good lesson for kids too.
Rules sometimes fall into the category of "Locks are for honest people" with me. Some rules are just dumb/power grabs/etc. I am big fan of asking why for things that don't sound right to me. I would absolutely be pushing back on Ellen (or any child) not being allowed to doodle on scratch paper once done with an exam. I would need a very good "why" to support that one, and I am a very support the school/teacher's rules type parent.
🙌🏻 Love your perspective, humility and generosity.
I always find the questions you pose so helpful and really appreciate the posture you take on what you know and what you’ve yet to know, through your own and others’ experiences. Thanks for leading us, Beth!
I'm so much less gracious than you on my best day, and my response to most idiotic insane sounding things political, private, ex-brother in law related, whatever: 'for fucks sake'. I send this response so often my iphone recognizes it now.
ps I teach middle school. Our testing RUINED my semester with these kids. Ruined it. We've never been the same since. 2 weeks to go.
Ah my spirit friend - I say it so often that it's a common response when someone sends me a teams message. ffs. If I got a quarter for every time I respond with ffs I'd generate my own raise.
Sometimes the crazy story might need a deep dive. Such as a few years ago in the "trans/pronoun panic" when they said some kids identify as cats and want to use a litter box at school. Everyone just said, that's ridiculous, what's wrong with these people. Because it was a fabrication.
I knew of a teen who always wore hats or hood with cat ears, but that was because their brother dared them to wear throughout high school. It was a joke.
Then recently someone reported that the litter box story came from some emergency kits that schools have for lockdowns, when they can't use the restrooms. And my teenager informed me, yeah, there is a bucket in each classroom, in case we are in a lock down and they have litter to absorb the smell. shrugs
OMG. Why didn't news track this down at the first instance of ridiculous rumors? They reported conservative circles worrying about kids identifying as cats. They aren't. But we just let that circulate.
I don't say this to be combative at all, but I have a friend whose daughter identities as a therian/furry. She wears a tail and cat ears whenever possible. She is definitely not the only one I know -- just the one I'm closest to. While I agree with your point that the kitty litter stories were overblown, I think it's important to not deny the whole phenomenon. If we do, then people who are concerned about it (which includes my friend, even though she's very supportive of her child's non-binary identity), will think that we aren't being honest with them -- only breeding more distrust.
OMG Beth channeled my internal static into legible words. Whew. All of this. ALL OF THIS. WTF has never taken up so much of my headspace. Never before have I said the word absurd so many times. Never has the rage felt so visceral and also so very impotent. Looking forward to this meditation/shifting/reset.
Don’t get me started on testing! Ok, I’m starting…. My 11th grader hasn’t had a teacher for one of her classes SINCE OCTOBER. And next week she’s still required to take the Common Final Exam. Literally no instruction. Just a sub who sits on his phone to make sure they don’t kill each other. She also has APUSH and took that test last week. Fine. No problem. But the principal then put out a call BEGGING the AP kids to also take the final exam that the regular US History classes take because it will boost the school’s chances of an A rating. And those who take it and pass will get $20 off their parking pass next year. 😒 I’m super done.
What does it mean that so many people who serve the American government in battle never trust the American government again?
My dad got recruited into Vietnam at 17 (lied and said he was 18) and spent 4 years there. He desperately wanted to stay in the army but it meant another tour of Vietnam and that was a deal breaker for him. He came home to the mess that was the present. He knew the lies of Vietnam personally, and never trusted government or politicians ever again to tell him the truth. He believed in aliens and UFO's but not the government y'all. Man died and I guarantee you, if it's possible to look down from above, he was thoroughly pissed he got a military funeral.
Also, I can’t wait for the daily meditations! My brain definitely needs a civic reset. Are these going to replace other premium content for the month or be additional? (Replace would be totally okay by me, just want to set accurate expectations)
We have reached all new levels of bananas: The Department of Homeland Security is considering a reality TV show where migrants win a chance to become citizens. (Wall Street Journal, May 16, 2025). No doubt the consolation prize for the loser is a one way ticket to a El Salvadorian prison.
What a joy and delight to begin my morning with this thoughtful piece and multiple chuckles. Very thought-provoking. I love the line about disagreeing. Once I finish typing this I'm going back to copy/paste that sentence into my "useful phrases" vocabulary list. I squirm at the very idea of being forbidden to doodle while silently doing nothing. If she's allowed to keep eyes closed maybe she could doodle in her imagination. Maybe she could color the mental doodle. Animate the doodle. Uh-oh, that might bring a smile to her face. Is she forbidden to smile while otherwise holding perfect stillness?
It's so discouraging, part of me wants the America of the past, while knowing now what I did not realize then, that the America of my childhood in New Jersey, in a neighborhood crafted after the war strictly for white servicemen and their families, did not serve everyone. Now, living in Trumps America, I'm struggling to understand my sister and countless others who after being outraged by Obama's I have a phone and a pen comment, have little or nothing to say about what Trump is doing. I wish to never again hear that we chose this man, many of us did not ever vote for Trump.
I have a 14 year old nephew about to start high school next year. Now, he's always had a heart of gold and he's my only nephew so I will say I'm totally biased to think he's amazing (he IS amazing). But, all of this crap happening in the world has caused him rethink his "I want to be an engineer when I grow up" to thinking he wants to be an immigration lawyer. Now he's 14, who knows where he lands in life, but I wonder how much of this "chaos" is going to spur a generation to become a Lorax of sorts. Trying to keep a glass half full is a struggle these days, so I find solace that maybe the younger generation will not look at view the fever swamps as overwhelming and become defeated, but hear a rally cry instead.
Have you considered giving Ellen permission to draw when she finishes her test, even though they said absolutely not?
I am a recovering rule follower. Sometimes rules are just dumb.
On another note, my younger son who is now 31 doodled instead of taking his SAT. Of course the counselor called me. I was very upset. He ended up never taking the SAT, went to a special art school program (UNC school of the arts, which was free, by the way) his senior year in high school. He then got a full scholarship to an art school/university to study automotive design and is a car designer. Yes, some of his choices made me very nervous, but I learned we don’t all follow the same path. I retired as a nurse practitioner a few years ago, and they were always lots of rules that had to be followed. I also agree with asking, pushing back. It’s a good lesson for kids too.
Rules sometimes fall into the category of "Locks are for honest people" with me. Some rules are just dumb/power grabs/etc. I am big fan of asking why for things that don't sound right to me. I would absolutely be pushing back on Ellen (or any child) not being allowed to doodle on scratch paper once done with an exam. I would need a very good "why" to support that one, and I am a very support the school/teacher's rules type parent.
I’m sorry. The answers will be BANANAS for quite some time 😞
So much this!
🙌🏻 Love your perspective, humility and generosity.
I always find the questions you pose so helpful and really appreciate the posture you take on what you know and what you’ve yet to know, through your own and others’ experiences. Thanks for leading us, Beth!
I'm so much less gracious than you on my best day, and my response to most idiotic insane sounding things political, private, ex-brother in law related, whatever: 'for fucks sake'. I send this response so often my iphone recognizes it now.
ps I teach middle school. Our testing RUINED my semester with these kids. Ruined it. We've never been the same since. 2 weeks to go.
Ah my spirit friend - I say it so often that it's a common response when someone sends me a teams message. ffs. If I got a quarter for every time I respond with ffs I'd generate my own raise.
Sometimes the crazy story might need a deep dive. Such as a few years ago in the "trans/pronoun panic" when they said some kids identify as cats and want to use a litter box at school. Everyone just said, that's ridiculous, what's wrong with these people. Because it was a fabrication.
I knew of a teen who always wore hats or hood with cat ears, but that was because their brother dared them to wear throughout high school. It was a joke.
Then recently someone reported that the litter box story came from some emergency kits that schools have for lockdowns, when they can't use the restrooms. And my teenager informed me, yeah, there is a bucket in each classroom, in case we are in a lock down and they have litter to absorb the smell. shrugs
OMG. Why didn't news track this down at the first instance of ridiculous rumors? They reported conservative circles worrying about kids identifying as cats. They aren't. But we just let that circulate.
Meditation sounds nice
I don't say this to be combative at all, but I have a friend whose daughter identities as a therian/furry. She wears a tail and cat ears whenever possible. She is definitely not the only one I know -- just the one I'm closest to. While I agree with your point that the kitty litter stories were overblown, I think it's important to not deny the whole phenomenon. If we do, then people who are concerned about it (which includes my friend, even though she's very supportive of her child's non-binary identity), will think that we aren't being honest with them -- only breeding more distrust.
Also kitty litter is useful for cleaning up vomit or other fluids. They did that when I was a kid
Amen, Beth! As I read your post this morning my heads says, yes, yes, yes…you’ve nailed it once again. I’m sharing your post with my (grown) children.
OMG Beth channeled my internal static into legible words. Whew. All of this. ALL OF THIS. WTF has never taken up so much of my headspace. Never before have I said the word absurd so many times. Never has the rage felt so visceral and also so very impotent. Looking forward to this meditation/shifting/reset.
"WTF has never taken up so much of my headspace." I feel this in my core.
Don’t get me started on testing! Ok, I’m starting…. My 11th grader hasn’t had a teacher for one of her classes SINCE OCTOBER. And next week she’s still required to take the Common Final Exam. Literally no instruction. Just a sub who sits on his phone to make sure they don’t kill each other. She also has APUSH and took that test last week. Fine. No problem. But the principal then put out a call BEGGING the AP kids to also take the final exam that the regular US History classes take because it will boost the school’s chances of an A rating. And those who take it and pass will get $20 off their parking pass next year. 😒 I’m super done.
I have a 7th and the lack of math that happened this year because of subs being there for all but the first and last month of the year makes me rage.
What does it mean that so many people who serve the American government in battle never trust the American government again?
My dad got recruited into Vietnam at 17 (lied and said he was 18) and spent 4 years there. He desperately wanted to stay in the army but it meant another tour of Vietnam and that was a deal breaker for him. He came home to the mess that was the present. He knew the lies of Vietnam personally, and never trusted government or politicians ever again to tell him the truth. He believed in aliens and UFO's but not the government y'all. Man died and I guarantee you, if it's possible to look down from above, he was thoroughly pissed he got a military funeral.
Now I’m mad on Ellen’s behalf! (Thanks for your thoughtful words as always, Beth)
Also, I can’t wait for the daily meditations! My brain definitely needs a civic reset. Are these going to replace other premium content for the month or be additional? (Replace would be totally okay by me, just want to set accurate expectations)
We have reached all new levels of bananas: The Department of Homeland Security is considering a reality TV show where migrants win a chance to become citizens. (Wall Street Journal, May 16, 2025). No doubt the consolation prize for the loser is a one way ticket to a El Salvadorian prison.
They have had a green card lottery in the past. Not sure they still do or not. I know a vert successful scientist who’s family won.
for fucks' sake
W.T.F. See?!? WTF
I’m still shocked when I hear things like this!! But of course they’re talking about a reality show? WHAT.
😳😳😳😳😳
Yes to all of this. Thanks for your insightful words today as always, Beth.
What a joy and delight to begin my morning with this thoughtful piece and multiple chuckles. Very thought-provoking. I love the line about disagreeing. Once I finish typing this I'm going back to copy/paste that sentence into my "useful phrases" vocabulary list. I squirm at the very idea of being forbidden to doodle while silently doing nothing. If she's allowed to keep eyes closed maybe she could doodle in her imagination. Maybe she could color the mental doodle. Animate the doodle. Uh-oh, that might bring a smile to her face. Is she forbidden to smile while otherwise holding perfect stillness?