I loved the conversation about giving kids unpaid responsibilities because I legit just lost my shit with my kiddos who weren’t keeping up their responsibilities and I was taking them on instead…until I couldn’t anymore. We are trying a daily responsibility list for each of them now. Love the idea of allowance with the green card thing and will definitely look into that.
Something that I’ll be mulling over from this conversation is: how much are we willing to tolerate discomfort? I think a reason we’ve not tolerated discomfort very well at home (aside from both parents being enneagram 9’s😅) is that our oldest experiences a lot of discomfort, hardship and character building outside our home. With ADHD and a reading disability, he expends a lot of his energy just trying to keep up at school, in tutoring and extracurriculars. It’s been hard to balance letting home be a soft place to land after long hard days at school as well as teach him executive function skills and responsibility at home. But this segment was a good kick in the pants and the encouragement I needed. Thanks ladies!!
Have you guys done any kind of book review or talk with the author of "The Anxious Generation" that last conversation about giving kids greater responsibility and chance to take risk and failed reminded me a lot of what I'm reading in that book. I know you did a book club on his book "the righteous mind" in the past but would sooo love to hear your thoughts on this book!
I know I am late. I have worked in healthcare billing for many years. My spouse is a physical therapist. I am all for national healthcare. Basing it on Medicare, however, seems like a loser on all fronts. Medicare is actually pretty terrible in terms of what they cover, what is covered, etc. And it is getting worse. I know many will disagree, but I think even calling it that automatically shuts down most people over 65 because their healthcare is frustrating. And they still pay a lot for it, and for the supplemental insurances they still have to have. I think nationalized healthcare, but scrap everything and start over. For what it is worth.
I woke up still thinking about this episode. In particular Sarah’s comment that schools shouldn’t be grouped by age. For a multitude of reasons we delayed sending my daughter to Kindergarten. The private preschool she attended agreed with this decision and had no problem with it. At the end of K her teacher was like this was absolutely the right decision. However when we enrolled her in public school they placed her in second grade. I called the school to explain that she had never had first grade and that it would not be appropriate to just drop her in second grade. It took 3 months of emails, phone calls and ultimately me losing my shit to get her placed in first grade. It should not have been that hard. They were so wrapped up in her age that they wanted to deny her first grade. Once in first grade I asked her teachers and if there were any issues and they agreed she would not have done well on second grade because she was not a second grader.
I loved this episode and this exercise and I think I want to do it in my community. Hearing all the problems really laid out a lot of things that have been swirling in my head. I think you really hit on something when you talked about lack of trust with businesses. We have become so disconnected from our purchasing. Your point about CVS was spot on. I worked at CVS for years and while I worked with the most amazing people . As a corporation things always got worse. When you talked about being just a worker and a consumer I thought that’s it, that’s the problem. My husband and I were talking the other day about how we have become a consumerist society where our functions are just buying things. Excellent episode!!
I absolutely loved this episode. I love breaking down this big cloud of doom I’ve been feeling since the election into these smaller more easily understood problems. Though many are still too large for us to tackle as individuals. It does give me more a direction and sense of control over what I can have some impact on! Also as a CVS pharmacist trying to do her best to have a true relationship with patients. All while dealing with a terrible healthcare system I appreciated the grace given to our struggles. And very much agree that the monopolization of our industry has terrible consequences that many people do not fully understand.
I haven't read the comments on this episode yet, but I found it so incredibly depressing. I have been extensionally depressed since the election. I honestly feel like I have lost all hope that things will change. And listening to a big, long, extensive list of all our problems was tough. I don't see any hope that change can happen.
I'm honestly wondering since the election what the point is of trying to stay on top of news and politics. I've always felt it was sort of my duty as a citizen, but I'm truly wondering if there is any point. (I am involved locally - I'm actually a city government employee, and I'm a volunteer teller in my hyper-local neighborhood credit union. So I am talking anything larger.) I believe Sarah said on a recent show that she told Griffin not to let this harden him - I feel hardened. And extremely cynical. I'm just curious where others are and if others feel like this. I don't love feeling this way, but I just cannot find the hope.
Hi Leah: I am sorry you feel this way AND I can relate. What you are doing locally is far more important than anything you can do nationally (unless you decide to run for office.) it IS hard AND it is not as bad as all the media everywhere wants you to believe. As a former journalist who served in that career during the time everyone still took a daily paper, I can tell you that news now is all about eyeballs.
What has worked for me is a media diet that resembles what we were doing in the 1980s: read your LOCAL paper (in print is less anxiety producing than online) and watch either ABC, NBC, CBS or PBS evening news. These are 30 minute news- only broadcasts. I stopped even listening to NPR. I do listen to Sarah's good morning and many More To Says but I have noticed that this week without them, my heart rate is lower. So I may beak from them as well. I also deleted IG from my phone as well as Threads (I deleted twitter years ago and don't use Facebook). I go outside and look at what is in front of me and see my neighbors and colleagues as humans not enemies. I also think dancing in the kitchen is a good idea. 🫂
I was a TV news producer through the 1990s and 2000s. I give people basically the same advice you do. I've never watched cable news. I don't watch shows that have names attached. (I admit to really missing The McLaughlin Group. lol) I only read news that I seek out, either by going directly to the source or via RSS feed. For breaking news, I go local always. What else??? Oh, I pay for newspaper access in what I consider my "hometowns."
I (Maggie), speaking for myself as a person who has undergone quite a bit of treatment for depression, I think that when you feel that way, it is your body's way of telling you that you need to tend to yourself.
My mom told me yesterday that she didn't think that we should talk about politics at Thanksgiving, and I told her that I thought the reason it's hard is that if we only talk about politics at Thanksgiving (or around election time), it's like skipping brushing your teeth for months at a time. When you do get to it, your gums are bleeding, there are cavities, and you probably need a root canal - so it's hard, painful, messy, and awful. But if you brush and floss every day, you may still get a cavity in there from time to time, but usually, it's a little easier to manage.
I think it would be good for America if a certain swath of us paid less attention to politics and another swath of us paid more attention to it. But finding that Goldilocks place that's right for you is hard.
But if you're feeling really hard right now and your mental health is suffering, that's not good. Coming back to a 'health-ish' metaphor, you want to be sure your media diet is balanced. What are the things you watch/read/listen to because you enjoy them? What are you doing to feed your spirit? What are you doing that's challenging/creative/nurturing? That variety is political in its own way and also grounding and good for you.
The suggestions in much of this episode are how my Mormon neighbors live their lives: two years of service after high school bf college, Family nights sans phones on Mondays, twice weekly church that involves not just worship but work-ship, staying optimistic, and really REALLY limiting phones for their kids.
A public service requirement sounds good, but I would want to see years in laying the groundwork before implementing. I work with institutions that often are approached by high schools or the legal system about providing community service opportunities. It is a LOT of work, and we want the service year to help the country, non-profits, etc, not just the students, I would think. If every student had to do it, we would need to look for a lot of opportunities or else it will end up looking like the teen summer job program in my city. Many of the jobs are decent, but a lot of them have too many students there with nothing much to do, and they don't learn a ton of job skills.
Also, talking to people from Israel where almost every young person has to serve in the military, I know that it takes a fair bit of skill to match people up with the correct job. Like it was a good thing that my husband's colleague was matched with a job that involved air traffic control rather than some of his friends who spent much of their military year partying.
Loved it! For anyone who wants to learn more about “it’s the phones” which I agree with 💯 I listened to a Tech Won’t Save Us interview with Becca Lewis. Fascinating history of tech and the people who drive the regulations we do and don’t have on Al Gore’s internet. And to be fair the internet and all the misinformation and disinformation are working exactly as activists hoped they would.
My kids attended a Waldorf school from mid elementary - middle school (our district had a charter school that kids could apply & attend via lottery & we got lucky). Waldorf curriculum focuses on age/developmental appropriate content, classes stay together with their teacher at least through elementary and sometimes into middle school. They truly build a community. There's a strong focus on festivals, traditions, and lots of outdoor activity. My husband and I joked that it was a "hippie" school but we all really loved it and see how much it benefitted both my son and daughter. They both have a strong sense of self, a good understanding of emotions and didn't experience a lot of the pressure I saw their peers in public school go through. I'm incredibly grateful they were able to have that foundation.
Sadly, most of the Waldorf schools in my region closed down due to lack of students after my state passed a regulation that even private school kids had to have vaccines and religious exemptions to vaccines were eliminated. It seems that around here a lot of people were choosing Waldorf schools for lax vaccine policies, so I highly recommend asking about and individual school's policy before enrolling.
Oh, yes. This is a good point and highly relevant. Since our school was a part of the public school district there was a lot of drama & talk about vaccines especially during COVID. I
I loved the conversation about prepping children for adulthood. I’ve always felt that way as well. I was bound and determined my two boys would be able to function in the world independently.
A recent thing we had to “teach” my 19 yr old was how to deal with insurance and the towing company etc after he totaled his car. Everyone came out of the accident fine, THANKFULLY, but the car was not. When I made him call the tow company to find out if his car was still on their lot or if it had been transferred yet he actually asked me if I could just ground him instead of making him make a phone call. 🤣 There are so many of those little lessons that are so important to our children!
Thanks for everything about this episode. It was excellent!
- Year of Service: I was a Teach For America Corps Member right out of college. It's technically an Americorps program, but unlike other versions of Americorps you earn a real teacher's salary and get full benefits. I think a mandatory year of service would be transformative in our country, especially if people had the option to be placed in new-to-them communities. I grew up in the DC suburbs and moved to rural Arkansas to complete my corps commitment. It was so powerful to get out of the bubble I had been in for a long time. Flip side - we HAVE to pay people appropriately for this service. I was able to live comfortably, save, and travel during TFA because I was paid a salary and I lived in an area with a very low cost of living. It was a great financial start to my adult life. I have friends who completed other Americorps programs who weren't paid enough to make rent. They were automatically enrolled in food stamps when they started their program. To me, that is an unacceptable way to treat people doing that kind of labor. Either pay a living wage or truly meet people's needs for shelter, food, transit, etc.
- Kids being paid for chores: I am not a parent, but I heard this as though my mother were with me and she was (in my head) cackling. My mom 100% took the approach Sarah & Beth have of 1) you gotta learn this before you leave my house, 2) do you think this stuff happens magically????? I also think we could get to some of the education challenges if kids came into schools with the mindset of "the things around me do not happen without labor and I am responsible for some of that labor".
🙋 AmeriCorps VISTA who wasn't paid a living wage and sat in the food stamps line. The only way I made it work in Washington DC was by moving in with a family and swapping babysitting in exchange for a room. When I got together with fellow AmeriCorps, a big topic of conversation was how we were making ends meet, picking up other work, etc.
I got lucky with my Americorps assignment in El Paso, Texas. I was assigned to a non-profit who serviced the immigrant worker population, and they also partnered with the local Methodist Church, who offered me room and board because they knew how little money I was being paid. I was the only Americorps worker there for the next 8 months. They shared a lot of their food with me, and I think I had dinner with a different family like 4 times a week. I grew up poor and with food insecurity, but that year taught me how good people could be to a stranger.
This was really interesting to me. Because so much of the time I resonate with exactly what Beth is saying. And. As they were articulating the problems category by category I was struck by how many of the problems Beth named were actually assets in my community. Now. We sure as hell have all kinds of problems. But. I live in Baltimore City, which has its own reputation, and I can say that where I live it is hyper walkable, we have all kinds of diversity in art, culture, food and “vibes.” Our local Councilman won on public funding, without accepting a single gift over $150. He goes to my church with his wife and young family. We know our neighbors and we help each other on a day by day basis in the benign and the big stuff. I have the great gift of working in a small business that some friends started together and I have access to great medical care. Listening actually helped me to practice gratitude for all the “wealth” we have here in South Baltimore. And I would say I’m on a campaign to invite anyone who wants to come to come to Baltimore City. We will welcome you, wrap you up, let our badass young Black Mayor and Governor Moore help bring you grounding in human care centered policy. Our population has been declining for 20 years and we need residents. And. We have a lot to offer in this wild world we all find ourselves in.
Cassie, my husband just got an offer today for a job near Baltimore! And! I can't tell you how much it means to me to read about how welcoming and friendly your city is, how the neighbors know and help one another. Those qualities are exactly what we've been missing where we currently live and I'M SO EXCITED that we'll be moving to Maryland next year! I look forward to being in your shelf of the Spice Cabinet 😊
I had to laugh when Sarah said something like "We put on our headphones and listen to a podcast to go for a walk, rather than having a sometimes awkward conversation going for a walk with someone else." because I was taking a walk while listening to the podcast! But it was 10 pm (I know, I know. I always tell my kids not to have headphones in while walking around at night)
But Sarah is also right. Earlier tonight I was at a fundraiser for a food pantry where a local priest sang Broadway tunes. (I had no clue he had such a great voice, and maybe he should be the cantor instead of the priest!) I wasn't sure I wanted to go - I wasn't sure I would know anyone there, I don't know many show tunes, etc. But it ended up being quite lovely, and I connected with people I hadn't seen in a long time or don't really know. I need to remember that the next time I think about begging off of an event.
I used to be part of a faith community where my introversion/social anxiety would sometimes lead me to come up with excuses not to attend social gatherings. After the social isolation of the pandemic, and because that community doesn’t exist anymore so I feel like I have fewer opportunities to see people, I have tried to make it a point to go to anything I am invited to. I am usually glad I went.
I loved the conversation about giving kids unpaid responsibilities because I legit just lost my shit with my kiddos who weren’t keeping up their responsibilities and I was taking them on instead…until I couldn’t anymore. We are trying a daily responsibility list for each of them now. Love the idea of allowance with the green card thing and will definitely look into that.
Something that I’ll be mulling over from this conversation is: how much are we willing to tolerate discomfort? I think a reason we’ve not tolerated discomfort very well at home (aside from both parents being enneagram 9’s😅) is that our oldest experiences a lot of discomfort, hardship and character building outside our home. With ADHD and a reading disability, he expends a lot of his energy just trying to keep up at school, in tutoring and extracurriculars. It’s been hard to balance letting home be a soft place to land after long hard days at school as well as teach him executive function skills and responsibility at home. But this segment was a good kick in the pants and the encouragement I needed. Thanks ladies!!
Have you guys done any kind of book review or talk with the author of "The Anxious Generation" that last conversation about giving kids greater responsibility and chance to take risk and failed reminded me a lot of what I'm reading in that book. I know you did a book club on his book "the righteous mind" in the past but would sooo love to hear your thoughts on this book!
In re to the chores: can anyone tell me how old Jane is? (Beth's daughter who has a phone and pays for it and is babysitting?)
13, I believe
I know I am late. I have worked in healthcare billing for many years. My spouse is a physical therapist. I am all for national healthcare. Basing it on Medicare, however, seems like a loser on all fronts. Medicare is actually pretty terrible in terms of what they cover, what is covered, etc. And it is getting worse. I know many will disagree, but I think even calling it that automatically shuts down most people over 65 because their healthcare is frustrating. And they still pay a lot for it, and for the supplemental insurances they still have to have. I think nationalized healthcare, but scrap everything and start over. For what it is worth.
Does anyone have the link to the NYT piece about marijuana?
I think it may be this: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/04/us/cannabis-marijuana-risks-addiction.html
Thank you so much!
I woke up still thinking about this episode. In particular Sarah’s comment that schools shouldn’t be grouped by age. For a multitude of reasons we delayed sending my daughter to Kindergarten. The private preschool she attended agreed with this decision and had no problem with it. At the end of K her teacher was like this was absolutely the right decision. However when we enrolled her in public school they placed her in second grade. I called the school to explain that she had never had first grade and that it would not be appropriate to just drop her in second grade. It took 3 months of emails, phone calls and ultimately me losing my shit to get her placed in first grade. It should not have been that hard. They were so wrapped up in her age that they wanted to deny her first grade. Once in first grade I asked her teachers and if there were any issues and they agreed she would not have done well on second grade because she was not a second grader.
I loved this episode and this exercise and I think I want to do it in my community. Hearing all the problems really laid out a lot of things that have been swirling in my head. I think you really hit on something when you talked about lack of trust with businesses. We have become so disconnected from our purchasing. Your point about CVS was spot on. I worked at CVS for years and while I worked with the most amazing people . As a corporation things always got worse. When you talked about being just a worker and a consumer I thought that’s it, that’s the problem. My husband and I were talking the other day about how we have become a consumerist society where our functions are just buying things. Excellent episode!!
I absolutely loved this episode. I love breaking down this big cloud of doom I’ve been feeling since the election into these smaller more easily understood problems. Though many are still too large for us to tackle as individuals. It does give me more a direction and sense of control over what I can have some impact on! Also as a CVS pharmacist trying to do her best to have a true relationship with patients. All while dealing with a terrible healthcare system I appreciated the grace given to our struggles. And very much agree that the monopolization of our industry has terrible consequences that many people do not fully understand.
I haven't read the comments on this episode yet, but I found it so incredibly depressing. I have been extensionally depressed since the election. I honestly feel like I have lost all hope that things will change. And listening to a big, long, extensive list of all our problems was tough. I don't see any hope that change can happen.
I'm honestly wondering since the election what the point is of trying to stay on top of news and politics. I've always felt it was sort of my duty as a citizen, but I'm truly wondering if there is any point. (I am involved locally - I'm actually a city government employee, and I'm a volunteer teller in my hyper-local neighborhood credit union. So I am talking anything larger.) I believe Sarah said on a recent show that she told Griffin not to let this harden him - I feel hardened. And extremely cynical. I'm just curious where others are and if others feel like this. I don't love feeling this way, but I just cannot find the hope.
Hi Leah: I am sorry you feel this way AND I can relate. What you are doing locally is far more important than anything you can do nationally (unless you decide to run for office.) it IS hard AND it is not as bad as all the media everywhere wants you to believe. As a former journalist who served in that career during the time everyone still took a daily paper, I can tell you that news now is all about eyeballs.
What has worked for me is a media diet that resembles what we were doing in the 1980s: read your LOCAL paper (in print is less anxiety producing than online) and watch either ABC, NBC, CBS or PBS evening news. These are 30 minute news- only broadcasts. I stopped even listening to NPR. I do listen to Sarah's good morning and many More To Says but I have noticed that this week without them, my heart rate is lower. So I may beak from them as well. I also deleted IG from my phone as well as Threads (I deleted twitter years ago and don't use Facebook). I go outside and look at what is in front of me and see my neighbors and colleagues as humans not enemies. I also think dancing in the kitchen is a good idea. 🫂
I was a TV news producer through the 1990s and 2000s. I give people basically the same advice you do. I've never watched cable news. I don't watch shows that have names attached. (I admit to really missing The McLaughlin Group. lol) I only read news that I seek out, either by going directly to the source or via RSS feed. For breaking news, I go local always. What else??? Oh, I pay for newspaper access in what I consider my "hometowns."
I (Maggie), speaking for myself as a person who has undergone quite a bit of treatment for depression, I think that when you feel that way, it is your body's way of telling you that you need to tend to yourself.
My mom told me yesterday that she didn't think that we should talk about politics at Thanksgiving, and I told her that I thought the reason it's hard is that if we only talk about politics at Thanksgiving (or around election time), it's like skipping brushing your teeth for months at a time. When you do get to it, your gums are bleeding, there are cavities, and you probably need a root canal - so it's hard, painful, messy, and awful. But if you brush and floss every day, you may still get a cavity in there from time to time, but usually, it's a little easier to manage.
I think it would be good for America if a certain swath of us paid less attention to politics and another swath of us paid more attention to it. But finding that Goldilocks place that's right for you is hard.
But if you're feeling really hard right now and your mental health is suffering, that's not good. Coming back to a 'health-ish' metaphor, you want to be sure your media diet is balanced. What are the things you watch/read/listen to because you enjoy them? What are you doing to feed your spirit? What are you doing that's challenging/creative/nurturing? That variety is political in its own way and also grounding and good for you.
Take care, friend!
Maggie
The suggestions in much of this episode are how my Mormon neighbors live their lives: two years of service after high school bf college, Family nights sans phones on Mondays, twice weekly church that involves not just worship but work-ship, staying optimistic, and really REALLY limiting phones for their kids.
A public service requirement sounds good, but I would want to see years in laying the groundwork before implementing. I work with institutions that often are approached by high schools or the legal system about providing community service opportunities. It is a LOT of work, and we want the service year to help the country, non-profits, etc, not just the students, I would think. If every student had to do it, we would need to look for a lot of opportunities or else it will end up looking like the teen summer job program in my city. Many of the jobs are decent, but a lot of them have too many students there with nothing much to do, and they don't learn a ton of job skills.
Also, talking to people from Israel where almost every young person has to serve in the military, I know that it takes a fair bit of skill to match people up with the correct job. Like it was a good thing that my husband's colleague was matched with a job that involved air traffic control rather than some of his friends who spent much of their military year partying.
Loved it! For anyone who wants to learn more about “it’s the phones” which I agree with 💯 I listened to a Tech Won’t Save Us interview with Becca Lewis. Fascinating history of tech and the people who drive the regulations we do and don’t have on Al Gore’s internet. And to be fair the internet and all the misinformation and disinformation are working exactly as activists hoped they would.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tech-wont-save-us/id1507621076?i=1000677746254
And I know Sarah is a huge Tressie McMillan Cottom fan. That episode was shared along side her article this week in the NYT- https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/21/opinion/trump-trad-wives-podcasters-wellness.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare. Also excellent.
My kids attended a Waldorf school from mid elementary - middle school (our district had a charter school that kids could apply & attend via lottery & we got lucky). Waldorf curriculum focuses on age/developmental appropriate content, classes stay together with their teacher at least through elementary and sometimes into middle school. They truly build a community. There's a strong focus on festivals, traditions, and lots of outdoor activity. My husband and I joked that it was a "hippie" school but we all really loved it and see how much it benefitted both my son and daughter. They both have a strong sense of self, a good understanding of emotions and didn't experience a lot of the pressure I saw their peers in public school go through. I'm incredibly grateful they were able to have that foundation.
Sadly, most of the Waldorf schools in my region closed down due to lack of students after my state passed a regulation that even private school kids had to have vaccines and religious exemptions to vaccines were eliminated. It seems that around here a lot of people were choosing Waldorf schools for lax vaccine policies, so I highly recommend asking about and individual school's policy before enrolling.
Oh, yes. This is a good point and highly relevant. Since our school was a part of the public school district there was a lot of drama & talk about vaccines especially during COVID. I
I loved the conversation about prepping children for adulthood. I’ve always felt that way as well. I was bound and determined my two boys would be able to function in the world independently.
A recent thing we had to “teach” my 19 yr old was how to deal with insurance and the towing company etc after he totaled his car. Everyone came out of the accident fine, THANKFULLY, but the car was not. When I made him call the tow company to find out if his car was still on their lot or if it had been transferred yet he actually asked me if I could just ground him instead of making him make a phone call. 🤣 There are so many of those little lessons that are so important to our children!
Thanks for everything about this episode. It was excellent!
That is a tough thing even for more mature adults! Glad all was fine.
Loved, loved, loved this one.
- Year of Service: I was a Teach For America Corps Member right out of college. It's technically an Americorps program, but unlike other versions of Americorps you earn a real teacher's salary and get full benefits. I think a mandatory year of service would be transformative in our country, especially if people had the option to be placed in new-to-them communities. I grew up in the DC suburbs and moved to rural Arkansas to complete my corps commitment. It was so powerful to get out of the bubble I had been in for a long time. Flip side - we HAVE to pay people appropriately for this service. I was able to live comfortably, save, and travel during TFA because I was paid a salary and I lived in an area with a very low cost of living. It was a great financial start to my adult life. I have friends who completed other Americorps programs who weren't paid enough to make rent. They were automatically enrolled in food stamps when they started their program. To me, that is an unacceptable way to treat people doing that kind of labor. Either pay a living wage or truly meet people's needs for shelter, food, transit, etc.
- Kids being paid for chores: I am not a parent, but I heard this as though my mother were with me and she was (in my head) cackling. My mom 100% took the approach Sarah & Beth have of 1) you gotta learn this before you leave my house, 2) do you think this stuff happens magically????? I also think we could get to some of the education challenges if kids came into schools with the mindset of "the things around me do not happen without labor and I am responsible for some of that labor".
🙋 AmeriCorps VISTA who wasn't paid a living wage and sat in the food stamps line. The only way I made it work in Washington DC was by moving in with a family and swapping babysitting in exchange for a room. When I got together with fellow AmeriCorps, a big topic of conversation was how we were making ends meet, picking up other work, etc.
I got lucky with my Americorps assignment in El Paso, Texas. I was assigned to a non-profit who serviced the immigrant worker population, and they also partnered with the local Methodist Church, who offered me room and board because they knew how little money I was being paid. I was the only Americorps worker there for the next 8 months. They shared a lot of their food with me, and I think I had dinner with a different family like 4 times a week. I grew up poor and with food insecurity, but that year taught me how good people could be to a stranger.
This was really interesting to me. Because so much of the time I resonate with exactly what Beth is saying. And. As they were articulating the problems category by category I was struck by how many of the problems Beth named were actually assets in my community. Now. We sure as hell have all kinds of problems. But. I live in Baltimore City, which has its own reputation, and I can say that where I live it is hyper walkable, we have all kinds of diversity in art, culture, food and “vibes.” Our local Councilman won on public funding, without accepting a single gift over $150. He goes to my church with his wife and young family. We know our neighbors and we help each other on a day by day basis in the benign and the big stuff. I have the great gift of working in a small business that some friends started together and I have access to great medical care. Listening actually helped me to practice gratitude for all the “wealth” we have here in South Baltimore. And I would say I’m on a campaign to invite anyone who wants to come to come to Baltimore City. We will welcome you, wrap you up, let our badass young Black Mayor and Governor Moore help bring you grounding in human care centered policy. Our population has been declining for 20 years and we need residents. And. We have a lot to offer in this wild world we all find ourselves in.
Cassie, my husband just got an offer today for a job near Baltimore! And! I can't tell you how much it means to me to read about how welcoming and friendly your city is, how the neighbors know and help one another. Those qualities are exactly what we've been missing where we currently live and I'M SO EXCITED that we'll be moving to Maryland next year! I look forward to being in your shelf of the Spice Cabinet 😊
I had to laugh when Sarah said something like "We put on our headphones and listen to a podcast to go for a walk, rather than having a sometimes awkward conversation going for a walk with someone else." because I was taking a walk while listening to the podcast! But it was 10 pm (I know, I know. I always tell my kids not to have headphones in while walking around at night)
But Sarah is also right. Earlier tonight I was at a fundraiser for a food pantry where a local priest sang Broadway tunes. (I had no clue he had such a great voice, and maybe he should be the cantor instead of the priest!) I wasn't sure I wanted to go - I wasn't sure I would know anyone there, I don't know many show tunes, etc. But it ended up being quite lovely, and I connected with people I hadn't seen in a long time or don't really know. I need to remember that the next time I think about begging off of an event.
I used to be part of a faith community where my introversion/social anxiety would sometimes lead me to come up with excuses not to attend social gatherings. After the social isolation of the pandemic, and because that community doesn’t exist anymore so I feel like I have fewer opportunities to see people, I have tried to make it a point to go to anything I am invited to. I am usually glad I went.