I have three sons. When they were little, I taught them a simple call and response.
Me: Who loves you more than me?
Them: Nobody!
Occasionally, the littlest (who is what one would call a rascal) would answer with my mother’s name but overall my indoctrination was successful.
So, seeing a son very publicly come out and say that his mother is the worst and his wife is the only one he loves (paraphrasing) sends me into a mild panic that is hard to describe.
In case you do not follow celebrity gossip (and to that I say WHY!?!), Brooklyn Beckham, the eldest son of Victoria and David Beckham, released a statement explaining he doesn’t want to reconcile with his family after many months of rumors of a riff. He also accused them of trying to control him all the while spreading rumors that it was wife billionaire heiress Nicola Peltz who was the controlling one.
Confused? It’s ok. You’re not the only one. Lots of unanswered questions after Brooklyn’s statement that hilariously ends in a call for privacy. Questions like “What do you mean your mother danced on you at your wedding?” “Why does your account of the wedding dress debacle here differ from the one you told Vogue?” “How could you sign away control of your name!?!”
The specifics are a fun distraction from the deluge of horribles happening in Davos and across the globe, but I don’t think that’s the only reason this story has gone viral. Celebrity gossip is always about us. So, if you have a mother or a son or a mother-in-law or a controlling family member or a daughter-in-law, then this is going to hit, and it’s going to give you an opportunity to express how you really feel about that situation.
And Brooklyn and his billionairess can take it? So, get it off your chest. I would like to express my deep and abiding fear that my sons will fall in love with a woman who convinces them to go no contact with me.
WHICH brings me to my next point. Some of this (i.e., the conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law) has a ring of the eternal to it, and some of this has a distinctly modern relevance. The percentage of young people who have gone no contact with their families continues to rise, and it would be foolish not to see at least some of this as a cultural trend. #ToxicFamily has 1.9 billion views on TikTok, and I don’t even remember hearing the term “no contact” until three years ago. It has become such a cultural situation that some of the families have started to fight back using the same algorithmic media they blame for the problem.
So, we’ve got a fundamentally human issue and an algorithmically fueled social trend. What else could we add?
How about a dash of nepo baby!?
After all, we’re talking about the 26-year-old son of two of the most famous people in the entire world who has hopped from project to project since adolescence. Much has been made of his hilariously awful photography book, which he was amazingly able to publish at the ripe old age of 18.
But I would also like to add Brooklyn’s hot sauce, which, attendees of our live show can attest, I’ve been obsessed with for a while. Not only is it named after his father’s jersey number, BUT it has the weirdest bottles for hot sauce I’ve ever seen. They look like Victorian shampoo and conditioner.
I’m not saying it hasn’t been hard being their kid. I’m sure they are incredibly controlling of their brand, but not so controlling that they didn’t let a teenager use it to launch a photography book AND hot sauce company.
There are trade-offs in the life of nepobaby is what I’m saying.
There are also trade-offs in a marriage and in a family and in life.
Mainly, all I see here is a really young guy with limited life experience and an unearned platform trying to solve a complicated family dynamic with a post … when what it most likely will take is a whole lot of time.
Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go ask my sons a simple question.
What We’re Reading This Week
Beth: How Prediction Markets Turned the World Into a Casino (Bloomberg)
Alise: One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One by Lauren Sandler
Maggie: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman
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I found out about this story against my will but now I can’t look away 😬 I think a lot of problems arise when parents see their children as extensions of themselves and not independent people. That dynamic really damaged my husband’s relationship with his dad and it’s still there today. Unfortunately, some parents never really make the transition from parent-mode to respecting their children as adults, and they miss out on the next level of peer friendship that they could have had. After all, isn’t seeing your kid independent and confidently making their own choices a mark of successful parenting?
This is such a complicated topic, and I already see people’s different experiences coming out sideways in the comments. But ultimately, parents are the ones responsible for maintaining the relationship with their kids. When they get married, they have created a new family. If we can’t be happy for them and their partner and make the partner feel welcome, why would they stick around? If a parent has made their child feel as though any communication about them or their partners feelings is invalidated, why would they try to communicate? The whole “life is hard we need people” argument is true, and there are so many parents who make life harder for their children. I’m so lucky in that both my in laws and my parents get it and have been supportive of our little family.
Also, Sarah, I can’t see a world where your kids don’t feel comfortable bringing whoever they are with to your home. I can’t see a world where you don’t make those people feel welcome and respected. Keep raising good, communicative, thoughtful boys and you will be just fine.