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Karin's avatar

I found out about this story against my will but now I can’t look away 😬 I think a lot of problems arise when parents see their children as extensions of themselves and not independent people. That dynamic really damaged my husband’s relationship with his dad and it’s still there today. Unfortunately, some parents never really make the transition from parent-mode to respecting their children as adults, and they miss out on the next level of peer friendship that they could have had. After all, isn’t seeing your kid independent and confidently making their own choices a mark of successful parenting?

Emily Chapdelaine's avatar

This is such a complicated topic, and I already see people’s different experiences coming out sideways in the comments. But ultimately, parents are the ones responsible for maintaining the relationship with their kids. When they get married, they have created a new family. If we can’t be happy for them and their partner and make the partner feel welcome, why would they stick around? If a parent has made their child feel as though any communication about them or their partners feelings is invalidated, why would they try to communicate? The whole “life is hard we need people” argument is true, and there are so many parents who make life harder for their children. I’m so lucky in that both my in laws and my parents get it and have been supportive of our little family.

Also, Sarah, I can’t see a world where your kids don’t feel comfortable bringing whoever they are with to your home. I can’t see a world where you don’t make those people feel welcome and respected. Keep raising good, communicative, thoughtful boys and you will be just fine.

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