What strikes me most about this whole situation is how conversations about family estrangement reveal our own anxieties and unexamined assumptions. When a topic like this emerges into public view, we all seem to project our own family dynamics onto it—whether we're silently cataloging what our own parents did wrong, or worrying about how our children might perceive us someday.
I think the real topic underneath all of this isn't Brooklyn Beckham at all. It's the uncomfortable truth that relationships—even familial ones—require continuous negotiation and mutual respect. The old model of "you'll understand when you're older" or "family is family" doesn't hold up when one person in the relationship feels fundamentally unseen or unheard. And yet, the newer frameworks of boundaries and no-contact can sometimes be wielded without the thoughtfulness they deserve.
Maybe the most uncomfortable topic is that there isn't always a clear right or wrong. Sometimes people grow in different directions. Sometimes what one person experiences as protective, another experiences as controlling. The topic we're all dancing around is perhaps our fear that despite our best intentions, we might end up on the wrong side of someone's story.
I have seen your worse nightmare up close w my BFF in Texas. The DIL , an only child, has convinced her husband (one of four of my friends children) that his nuclear family is "emeshed" and has kept him from all family gatherings for three years.
Yep - we struggle with this as well. My husbands middle son has been estranged from all family events for almost two years. His wife demanded this shortly after their first child was born, stating the family was toxic and if he didn't support her she would leave and raise their child on her own. They now have 2 boys and it's heartbreaking to only see them in photos - we feel lucky to have not been blocked from those, so far.
You're right but I wonder if maybe it's the billionaire heiress wife that is causing isolation... I was married to a man who isolated me from my family and friends. He was a narcissist and gaslighter. He ruined my relationship with my oldest child and I've only recently been able to reconnect with her. You might be right but my experience makes me feel like it's more likely the wife who is causing this rift
Hey so from one mom of a boy to another, don’t have the DJ introduce you as “the most beautiful woman in the room” at your son’s wedding, and you’ll be fine!
My mom has two daughters and one son. Can I tell you what a good mother-in-law she is and also how THRILLED she is that my SIL isn't close with her family? My parents live 10 minutes away from them, they do all holidays with us, etc. It is a definitely a relationship that my mom actively nurtures because (as you said above) she's not stupid!
I feel two kinds of ways about this topic (not Brooklyn, I think you hit the nail on the head with that, but with about no contact in general). I have people who are very close to me have chosen to go no contact with family members, and people who have chosen not to. I think it has definitely become more common. On one hand, I think that is good because it destigmatizes a very difficult relationship dynamic that is, unfortunately, sometimes necessary. But I do worry about people doing it more casually because they related with one thing a TikTok said, or because it’s easier than doing the hard work of showing up.
A book that really helped me understand this better was “The Power of Parting” by Eamon Dolan. He does an excellent job of validating people who need to go no contact, laying out reasons why one might need to do so, giving instructions for examining the relationship to see if it’s necessary - including therapy and self-work - and also demonstrating that no contact can look different for different people. Most importantly, he stresses that no contact is never to control the other person, but to protect yourself. I think that last bit is the part that gets lost in the social media posts - people try to control the difficult person rather than control their response to them.
Overall, though, I think establishing open communication and modeling the ability to take feedback and change, or apologize if need be, sets a firm foundation for a healthy relationship with our kids as adults. Beyond that, we can’t control them - or the people they may or may not fall in love with. It’s so scary - but it’s really the only way I know to do things! 💜
For me the most salient issue in this mess is that of IP rights. If it's true that his parents didn't want him to have his own name rights, that's next-level petty b.s. Did they not want him devaluing the family brand with his juvenile nonsense? Then maybe they should've done a better job raising him (ie, not letting a teenager do brand deals with their photo hobby project). Did they merely not want him to make any money off his own name/image/likeness?! Hell, even American college football programs can't get away with that kind of larceny anymore!
The Beckams are not royalty and they cannot strip this kid of the title of prince. He has just as much right to make money off the Beckam name as they do, whether that's through highly produced TV specials about their "perfect" life, or ill-considered Insta screeds about family feuds. The latter may be a childish "mistake" from an inexperienced 20-something, but what excuse do the mature adults have for the former?
I can't side with any of these people. Their life in the spotlight surrounded by the trappings of wealth and waste put them far beyond the average dysfunctional family that might be grappling with modern relationship trends. I don't know how "no contact" even applies to people who can very clearly communicate their disdain for each other just through magazine covers and news alerts.
I don’t see a world where your kids go no contact with you! But, with that said, I had to go no contact with a borderline parent and thus no contact with both parents. I do not agree that this is a trend, for most people. I can say I don’t post about, I’ve spent two years in therapy working on the fact that I am a no contact enneagram 9. I think there is an uptick because maybe the boomer generations has their own unresolved issues they passed down to more generations and now we’re all working those out. We live in a refusal to pass the unhealthy onto our own families. So maybe that’s the trend, a movement (although posted online is weird to me) to not let unhealthy people reign in our own lives.
My parent has borderline disorder and my other parent can’t see that, so I doubt if you are a reasonable person and your husband is too, your kids are not going to go no-contact. They can love you as mom and like Emily said above you will maintain a supportive relationship down the road is my guess.
I'm coming from a different perspective as a sibling whose brother went no contact with our mother its been interesting. My SIL is wonderful and I love her. She is also part of that crowd that got really into trauma healing and therapy speak. She tried to implement her expertise as a 27 yr old on our mother who has lived a very hard and much longer life. You can imagine how that went. Could my mom use some therapy, yes, we all could. Did constantly being told her anger or disagreement with something was a result of "unrealized trauma" help? Hell no. It's not always one side is right. Sometimes one side just views the world in a very specific lens. I feel bad for both parties involved. Including his siblings whom are probably like wait what!? I have relationships with both my brother and my mom. My brother and husband are very close. I couldn't imagine also cutting off my siblings. It gives more isolation tactic to me than just simple no contact.
I found out about this story against my will but now I can’t look away 😬 I think a lot of problems arise when parents see their children as extensions of themselves and not independent people. That dynamic really damaged my husband’s relationship with his dad and it’s still there today. Unfortunately, some parents never really make the transition from parent-mode to respecting their children as adults, and they miss out on the next level of peer friendship that they could have had. After all, isn’t seeing your kid independent and confidently making their own choices a mark of successful parenting?
This is such a complicated topic, and I already see people’s different experiences coming out sideways in the comments. But ultimately, parents are the ones responsible for maintaining the relationship with their kids. When they get married, they have created a new family. If we can’t be happy for them and their partner and make the partner feel welcome, why would they stick around? If a parent has made their child feel as though any communication about them or their partners feelings is invalidated, why would they try to communicate? The whole “life is hard we need people” argument is true, and there are so many parents who make life harder for their children. I’m so lucky in that both my in laws and my parents get it and have been supportive of our little family.
Also, Sarah, I can’t see a world where your kids don’t feel comfortable bringing whoever they are with to your home. I can’t see a world where you don’t make those people feel welcome and respected. Keep raising good, communicative, thoughtful boys and you will be just fine.
hmmmmmm
What strikes me most about this whole situation is how conversations about family estrangement reveal our own anxieties and unexamined assumptions. When a topic like this emerges into public view, we all seem to project our own family dynamics onto it—whether we're silently cataloging what our own parents did wrong, or worrying about how our children might perceive us someday.
I think the real topic underneath all of this isn't Brooklyn Beckham at all. It's the uncomfortable truth that relationships—even familial ones—require continuous negotiation and mutual respect. The old model of "you'll understand when you're older" or "family is family" doesn't hold up when one person in the relationship feels fundamentally unseen or unheard. And yet, the newer frameworks of boundaries and no-contact can sometimes be wielded without the thoughtfulness they deserve.
Maybe the most uncomfortable topic is that there isn't always a clear right or wrong. Sometimes people grow in different directions. Sometimes what one person experiences as protective, another experiences as controlling. The topic we're all dancing around is perhaps our fear that despite our best intentions, we might end up on the wrong side of someone's story.
Well, there goes a few minutes of my life that I will never get back........total waste of my time.
How much do you value your privacy if you air your laundry on social media?
I have seen your worse nightmare up close w my BFF in Texas. The DIL , an only child, has convinced her husband (one of four of my friends children) that his nuclear family is "emeshed" and has kept him from all family gatherings for three years.
Yep - we struggle with this as well. My husbands middle son has been estranged from all family events for almost two years. His wife demanded this shortly after their first child was born, stating the family was toxic and if he didn't support her she would leave and raise their child on her own. They now have 2 boys and it's heartbreaking to only see them in photos - we feel lucky to have not been blocked from those, so far.
You're right but I wonder if maybe it's the billionaire heiress wife that is causing isolation... I was married to a man who isolated me from my family and friends. He was a narcissist and gaslighter. He ruined my relationship with my oldest child and I've only recently been able to reconnect with her. You might be right but my experience makes me feel like it's more likely the wife who is causing this rift
Also, Sarah, my youngest had the same Pjs when he was that age. Hearing his squeaky little voice took me straight back! Gah. So sweet.
Hey so from one mom of a boy to another, don’t have the DJ introduce you as “the most beautiful woman in the room” at your son’s wedding, and you’ll be fine!
No guys, I am referencing what (allegedly) happened at Brooklyn’s wedding!
Eke! They must’ve made guests sign NDAs cuz no one is talking!!
So true. When I first read the story, I thought - well, this will be easy to corroborate (or not). But so far, everyone has been mum.
You are joking
Oh no!!
My mom has two daughters and one son. Can I tell you what a good mother-in-law she is and also how THRILLED she is that my SIL isn't close with her family? My parents live 10 minutes away from them, they do all holidays with us, etc. It is a definitely a relationship that my mom actively nurtures because (as you said above) she's not stupid!
I feel two kinds of ways about this topic (not Brooklyn, I think you hit the nail on the head with that, but with about no contact in general). I have people who are very close to me have chosen to go no contact with family members, and people who have chosen not to. I think it has definitely become more common. On one hand, I think that is good because it destigmatizes a very difficult relationship dynamic that is, unfortunately, sometimes necessary. But I do worry about people doing it more casually because they related with one thing a TikTok said, or because it’s easier than doing the hard work of showing up.
A book that really helped me understand this better was “The Power of Parting” by Eamon Dolan. He does an excellent job of validating people who need to go no contact, laying out reasons why one might need to do so, giving instructions for examining the relationship to see if it’s necessary - including therapy and self-work - and also demonstrating that no contact can look different for different people. Most importantly, he stresses that no contact is never to control the other person, but to protect yourself. I think that last bit is the part that gets lost in the social media posts - people try to control the difficult person rather than control their response to them.
Overall, though, I think establishing open communication and modeling the ability to take feedback and change, or apologize if need be, sets a firm foundation for a healthy relationship with our kids as adults. Beyond that, we can’t control them - or the people they may or may not fall in love with. It’s so scary - but it’s really the only way I know to do things! 💜
All of this!
For me the most salient issue in this mess is that of IP rights. If it's true that his parents didn't want him to have his own name rights, that's next-level petty b.s. Did they not want him devaluing the family brand with his juvenile nonsense? Then maybe they should've done a better job raising him (ie, not letting a teenager do brand deals with their photo hobby project). Did they merely not want him to make any money off his own name/image/likeness?! Hell, even American college football programs can't get away with that kind of larceny anymore!
The Beckams are not royalty and they cannot strip this kid of the title of prince. He has just as much right to make money off the Beckam name as they do, whether that's through highly produced TV specials about their "perfect" life, or ill-considered Insta screeds about family feuds. The latter may be a childish "mistake" from an inexperienced 20-something, but what excuse do the mature adults have for the former?
I can't side with any of these people. Their life in the spotlight surrounded by the trappings of wealth and waste put them far beyond the average dysfunctional family that might be grappling with modern relationship trends. I don't know how "no contact" even applies to people who can very clearly communicate their disdain for each other just through magazine covers and news alerts.
Obviously very important IP to me personally, given I couldn't spell their name correctly even once. 😬
I don’t see a world where your kids go no contact with you! But, with that said, I had to go no contact with a borderline parent and thus no contact with both parents. I do not agree that this is a trend, for most people. I can say I don’t post about, I’ve spent two years in therapy working on the fact that I am a no contact enneagram 9. I think there is an uptick because maybe the boomer generations has their own unresolved issues they passed down to more generations and now we’re all working those out. We live in a refusal to pass the unhealthy onto our own families. So maybe that’s the trend, a movement (although posted online is weird to me) to not let unhealthy people reign in our own lives.
My parent has borderline disorder and my other parent can’t see that, so I doubt if you are a reasonable person and your husband is too, your kids are not going to go no-contact. They can love you as mom and like Emily said above you will maintain a supportive relationship down the road is my guess.
I'm coming from a different perspective as a sibling whose brother went no contact with our mother its been interesting. My SIL is wonderful and I love her. She is also part of that crowd that got really into trauma healing and therapy speak. She tried to implement her expertise as a 27 yr old on our mother who has lived a very hard and much longer life. You can imagine how that went. Could my mom use some therapy, yes, we all could. Did constantly being told her anger or disagreement with something was a result of "unrealized trauma" help? Hell no. It's not always one side is right. Sometimes one side just views the world in a very specific lens. I feel bad for both parties involved. Including his siblings whom are probably like wait what!? I have relationships with both my brother and my mom. My brother and husband are very close. I couldn't imagine also cutting off my siblings. It gives more isolation tactic to me than just simple no contact.
I found out about this story against my will but now I can’t look away 😬 I think a lot of problems arise when parents see their children as extensions of themselves and not independent people. That dynamic really damaged my husband’s relationship with his dad and it’s still there today. Unfortunately, some parents never really make the transition from parent-mode to respecting their children as adults, and they miss out on the next level of peer friendship that they could have had. After all, isn’t seeing your kid independent and confidently making their own choices a mark of successful parenting?
This is such a complicated topic, and I already see people’s different experiences coming out sideways in the comments. But ultimately, parents are the ones responsible for maintaining the relationship with their kids. When they get married, they have created a new family. If we can’t be happy for them and their partner and make the partner feel welcome, why would they stick around? If a parent has made their child feel as though any communication about them or their partners feelings is invalidated, why would they try to communicate? The whole “life is hard we need people” argument is true, and there are so many parents who make life harder for their children. I’m so lucky in that both my in laws and my parents get it and have been supportive of our little family.
Also, Sarah, I can’t see a world where your kids don’t feel comfortable bringing whoever they are with to your home. I can’t see a world where you don’t make those people feel welcome and respected. Keep raising good, communicative, thoughtful boys and you will be just fine.
fist bumping Maggie on her reading choice
Should have included a #influencedbyNorma