I do think there’s a lot of vibes here. Even if 86% of people live near a “large” city, it’s a much lower percentage that live in one of these cities that are targets. I live just outside Detroit and anecdotally soooo many people who tell me how terrible Detroit is have never set foot there. I was glad to hear Sarah say the same about her acquaintances talking about how unsafe NYC and Chicago are. I tried to find polling about how DC residents feel about crime there vs non-residents. I know crime is a problem there and everywhere but I think non-residents are dramatically overexaggerating the problem in their own minds.
My husband was talking about the viral video from Charlotte the other day and he was shocked that he saw it on twitter or wherever but not on any news sites. And again, we’re in Michigan. I heard Beth talking about how local these things are in my mind. Maybe it’s not in our news because we don’t need to know about it. Not because that poor woman doesn’t matter but because us knowing about every random crime that happens everywhere in the world does not make us either safer or less safe.
And I mean random in the sense that law enforcement has said there was no connection between the victim and the killer, not like random to imply unimportant in any way at all.
Regarding homelessness/mental illness, I’ve worked with the unhoused population in Northern Virginia outside of DC for decades (as a volunteer for non-profits/churches). The housing first model has been really successful for many people. The housing first model gets people into housing and then works on health, jobs, etc. When people with mental health challenges are living outside, they are often reluctant to take medication that can help due to side effects (drowsiness, etc). When they have a safe place to sleep and an address, they are better able to treat their health issues more consistently, apply for jobs and get on their feet. Nothing is a silver bullet but it’s so much better than trying to get a job/mental health treatment in order to qualify for housing.
The 86% stat is suspect. I can tell you a bunch of people living in Lee’s Summit, Mo live near KC and many of them have never gone into KC out of fear (unfounded IMO) and/or racism. I grew up in Lee’s Summit, lived in DC for three years attending law school, lived several years in Kansas City, and now live in NYC. People who don’t live in cities don’t get it. And I never felt that tightly wound living in DC!
Also, fair or not, when I hear a Kentuckian say - Dem city mayors do this! My knee jerk reaction is - go away. This is not your city, this is not your race, go focus on cleaning your own house (it’s not pretty in KY either) and let us live.
Genuine question: why when talking about the shooter, did Sarah refer to her as someone who was assigned male at birth but wanted to go by a female-coded name and pronouns rather than just calling her a trans woman? The language there stood out to me, and I’m just curious if it was trying to communicate something specific.
I had an interesting experience on a cycling trip. During a chat, I mentioned that I often ride alone (Im married, my husband was also on the trip). One of the married men pulled me aside and asked me how I carried my gun while biking, because he wanted to provide something for his wife. When I got over my shock, I explained that I don't have a gun and feel no need for one. I feel safe in my extremely diverse community outside of DC. This couple lives in a remote area of PA, on a large property.
As I thought through the encounter, I realized that I feel safe here , because there is always help close by. Neighbors, police, just kind people. People who choose to live far from help have more need to be able to be able to provide that help for themselves. Just interesting.
I've also lived in the UK. A couple who moved there from Germany said they felt safer in Germany. They neither read or spoke German so they did not read or watch the news. I pointed out that if you never looked at any news and relied only on lived experiences you would feel safe unless something happened to someone you know or yourself. Most of us are safer than we think.
Except for college, I have always lived in the suburbs or exurbs of DC, and I worked there for five years. My middle kid goes to college on the MD/DC border, and he’s worked in the DC for the past two summers. I’ve never felt unsafe there or worried about him there. I had my car broken into and my wallet stolen in the small city where I live now and both me and my oldest son had experiences where we were followed in ways where we felt unsafe. When things like that happen here, the social media discourse is always that DC and Baltimore are coming to our formerly red, now purple, county. I’m trying to write myself to my point here but I find it interesting that my lived experience is so different than that pervasive narrative. It feels like that binary safe/not safe is just another way to encourage tribalism and escape the critical thought, hard decisions, and planning that nuance requires. And it’s sure a lot easier to sell.
On belonging: my 24 yo (who lives in WV) told me last week that his best friend (who lives in PA) told him that they have a friend Kristin who goes to our church in MD and talks about how welcomed she feels. Kristin is trans. It was a real life reminder of the power I do have right now: the power to welcome, embrace, care, and love.
I have a theory that the positive change crime rates is at least somewhat connected to the increase of camera usage. More crime has moved to the phones because cameras are everywhere, and footage is more easily stored and reviewed.
Beth and Sarah - thank you for putting into words what my brain was thinking but could not articulate. My nephew spent his second day of preschool in lockdown in St. Paul, at a small Catholic school just a few miles away. My sister knows parishioners of Annunciation. It all hits so close to home, yet all I can think is “Robin (the shooter) used to be a 5 year old. At some point, I bet she felt a sense of belonging.” As a community, we’ve failed people who feel like they don’t belong in this world. LAWS AGAINST TRANS PEOPLE DO NOT MAKE US SAFER. Ultimately, I’m just so heartbroken for that community, and even more heartbroken that this will harden people. How do we change that?
OK, I have this weird lived experience with crime and perceived safety that I've tried to write up before and I give up. The long and the short of it is I grew up in a worse area than where I live now but the perception of those two places is absolutely reversed. Where I grew up, there was just tons of theft. Where I live now I can leave the garage door up and nobody touches anything.
But Sarah hit it on the head. I'd never thought of it before. It's not really crime that people are upset about. It's homelessness and the pervasiveness of that. Because where I grew up the homeless _were_ nonexistent and where I like now they are a constant presence.
My sister lived in Portland for a few years which is known for its large unhoused population and she described how deeply troubling it was to witness what felt like an unfolding humanitarian disaster and then just, you know, go to work.
People want more law enforcement and less crime, but if they knew more about what Trump is actually doing, I don't think most people would be for these actions. For example, the administration has had absolutely no contact with the Illinois governor, the Chicago mayor, or the Chicago police department. If Trump were actually concerned about reducing crime, he would consult and coordinate with them.
This article came out today. The reporters interviewed a variety of Chicagoans with different points of view. Some feel fear in their neighborhoods and want to see the National Guard come in, but those who have followed what is happening in DC are less likely to support it because they understand that it isn't really about combating crime. Even the Trump-supporting restaurant owner they interview is against it because he has heard about the sharp decrease of people eating out in DC since the Guard came into the city.
I disagree with Sarah that every adult understands that things are difficult and complicated. My estimate is that maybe 30% do. It is one of my huge frustrations with comments about our mayor, school board, city council, etc. I hear so many people say, "It's easy. All she has to do is (blank), and this problem would be solved." But it is never that easy. There are laws, unintended consequences, buy-in, civil rights, finances, etc, and etc. I don't want to ONLY hear "it's complicated," from my politicians, but I would love to hear them explain why it is complicated if I had any faith that people would listen.
Yes I agree, I am late to the conversation but came here to make this point. I think one reason DT is so appealing is that he affirms the belief held by a very large percentage of people that most problems ARE easy to solve. A corollated idea is that people who claim things are complicated and/or nuanced aren't being honest because they "know on some level" that if we just locked people up and threw away the keys or let everyone carry guns, et etc the problems would be solved.
One of the aspects of the PP community that I appreciate is that even though it's an online community, it has pushed me to be more involved in my local community. It deepens the in-person connections rather than replaces them.
Something I think is tough as a lover of nuance and the reality of how many layers there are to problems…. Is that executives HATE that reality. The general push is to move faster, stop being so slow, just do it! And on one hand, I love to move fast so we can increase our rate of learning. But there are real reasons to pause and think through potential risks and consequences. Anyhow thought about that when Beth was saying, why not hire more police in these cities. And I immediately thought: because it’s hard, takes time, etc and Trump seems like the executives I encounter who don’t want context or the best approach but the one that’s fastest.
I think all my comments about crime have been taken already but I do have a comment about the Taylor Swift part (as someone is not a Swiftie but I am happy for people to find love and joy wherever they can). I don’t need her to be talking about Gaza or fascism to think she should be happy, but on the other hand I feel like I am hungry for anyone who has a voice to be speaking out about this current moment in a way that makes senses for them. I have been trying to give those people my attention.
I had much to write. I wrote it. I deleted it. But one thing I want to keep on the record. I found this thought insanely powerful “…I just want to beg everybody to just attack this problem through a sense of belonging.” -Beth
Yes to the importance of love and belonging! And Father Greg Boyle shows how belonging can be an antidote against hate (and the crime it brings) in his books. He has a new book on Cherished Belonging that I thought of when Beth was talking about this. I also really enjoyed his recent discussion with Stacey Abrams on her podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ZuS0ZqxETufqLEm5m4M2S?si=SR-GrnBSQUSwPrJynS3ZFQ
I like his audiobooks, which he narrates himself. They consist of vignettes, so no worries of you can't listen all at once. If you make a habit of following him, be ready to tear up a lot, but as often in joy as in sadness.
I am sorry to hear that. Please let them know that is just a poor example of a person and that many of us are glad that they exist and live in this country at the same time we do.
Thank you :) I took the time to reinforce that tonight over dinner. We are lucky to be at a school that is amazing with great friends and family but this was a good reminder that it is never a bad time to reinforce that they are loved and belong.
As a mom in Minneapolis, I am gutted and infuriated. I know a child at the school, and it’s just 2 miles from home. We personally homeschool, and gun violence definitely influenced our school choices. We are heartbroken.
I do think there’s a lot of vibes here. Even if 86% of people live near a “large” city, it’s a much lower percentage that live in one of these cities that are targets. I live just outside Detroit and anecdotally soooo many people who tell me how terrible Detroit is have never set foot there. I was glad to hear Sarah say the same about her acquaintances talking about how unsafe NYC and Chicago are. I tried to find polling about how DC residents feel about crime there vs non-residents. I know crime is a problem there and everywhere but I think non-residents are dramatically overexaggerating the problem in their own minds.
My husband was talking about the viral video from Charlotte the other day and he was shocked that he saw it on twitter or wherever but not on any news sites. And again, we’re in Michigan. I heard Beth talking about how local these things are in my mind. Maybe it’s not in our news because we don’t need to know about it. Not because that poor woman doesn’t matter but because us knowing about every random crime that happens everywhere in the world does not make us either safer or less safe.
And I mean random in the sense that law enforcement has said there was no connection between the victim and the killer, not like random to imply unimportant in any way at all.
Regarding homelessness/mental illness, I’ve worked with the unhoused population in Northern Virginia outside of DC for decades (as a volunteer for non-profits/churches). The housing first model has been really successful for many people. The housing first model gets people into housing and then works on health, jobs, etc. When people with mental health challenges are living outside, they are often reluctant to take medication that can help due to side effects (drowsiness, etc). When they have a safe place to sleep and an address, they are better able to treat their health issues more consistently, apply for jobs and get on their feet. Nothing is a silver bullet but it’s so much better than trying to get a job/mental health treatment in order to qualify for housing.
The 86% stat is suspect. I can tell you a bunch of people living in Lee’s Summit, Mo live near KC and many of them have never gone into KC out of fear (unfounded IMO) and/or racism. I grew up in Lee’s Summit, lived in DC for three years attending law school, lived several years in Kansas City, and now live in NYC. People who don’t live in cities don’t get it. And I never felt that tightly wound living in DC!
Also, fair or not, when I hear a Kentuckian say - Dem city mayors do this! My knee jerk reaction is - go away. This is not your city, this is not your race, go focus on cleaning your own house (it’s not pretty in KY either) and let us live.
Genuine question: why when talking about the shooter, did Sarah refer to her as someone who was assigned male at birth but wanted to go by a female-coded name and pronouns rather than just calling her a trans woman? The language there stood out to me, and I’m just curious if it was trying to communicate something specific.
I had an interesting experience on a cycling trip. During a chat, I mentioned that I often ride alone (Im married, my husband was also on the trip). One of the married men pulled me aside and asked me how I carried my gun while biking, because he wanted to provide something for his wife. When I got over my shock, I explained that I don't have a gun and feel no need for one. I feel safe in my extremely diverse community outside of DC. This couple lives in a remote area of PA, on a large property.
As I thought through the encounter, I realized that I feel safe here , because there is always help close by. Neighbors, police, just kind people. People who choose to live far from help have more need to be able to be able to provide that help for themselves. Just interesting.
I've also lived in the UK. A couple who moved there from Germany said they felt safer in Germany. They neither read or spoke German so they did not read or watch the news. I pointed out that if you never looked at any news and relied only on lived experiences you would feel safe unless something happened to someone you know or yourself. Most of us are safer than we think.
Except for college, I have always lived in the suburbs or exurbs of DC, and I worked there for five years. My middle kid goes to college on the MD/DC border, and he’s worked in the DC for the past two summers. I’ve never felt unsafe there or worried about him there. I had my car broken into and my wallet stolen in the small city where I live now and both me and my oldest son had experiences where we were followed in ways where we felt unsafe. When things like that happen here, the social media discourse is always that DC and Baltimore are coming to our formerly red, now purple, county. I’m trying to write myself to my point here but I find it interesting that my lived experience is so different than that pervasive narrative. It feels like that binary safe/not safe is just another way to encourage tribalism and escape the critical thought, hard decisions, and planning that nuance requires. And it’s sure a lot easier to sell.
On belonging: my 24 yo (who lives in WV) told me last week that his best friend (who lives in PA) told him that they have a friend Kristin who goes to our church in MD and talks about how welcomed she feels. Kristin is trans. It was a real life reminder of the power I do have right now: the power to welcome, embrace, care, and love.
I have a theory that the positive change crime rates is at least somewhat connected to the increase of camera usage. More crime has moved to the phones because cameras are everywhere, and footage is more easily stored and reviewed.
Beth and Sarah - thank you for putting into words what my brain was thinking but could not articulate. My nephew spent his second day of preschool in lockdown in St. Paul, at a small Catholic school just a few miles away. My sister knows parishioners of Annunciation. It all hits so close to home, yet all I can think is “Robin (the shooter) used to be a 5 year old. At some point, I bet she felt a sense of belonging.” As a community, we’ve failed people who feel like they don’t belong in this world. LAWS AGAINST TRANS PEOPLE DO NOT MAKE US SAFER. Ultimately, I’m just so heartbroken for that community, and even more heartbroken that this will harden people. How do we change that?
OK, I have this weird lived experience with crime and perceived safety that I've tried to write up before and I give up. The long and the short of it is I grew up in a worse area than where I live now but the perception of those two places is absolutely reversed. Where I grew up, there was just tons of theft. Where I live now I can leave the garage door up and nobody touches anything.
But Sarah hit it on the head. I'd never thought of it before. It's not really crime that people are upset about. It's homelessness and the pervasiveness of that. Because where I grew up the homeless _were_ nonexistent and where I like now they are a constant presence.
My sister lived in Portland for a few years which is known for its large unhoused population and she described how deeply troubling it was to witness what felt like an unfolding humanitarian disaster and then just, you know, go to work.
People want more law enforcement and less crime, but if they knew more about what Trump is actually doing, I don't think most people would be for these actions. For example, the administration has had absolutely no contact with the Illinois governor, the Chicago mayor, or the Chicago police department. If Trump were actually concerned about reducing crime, he would consult and coordinate with them.
This article came out today. The reporters interviewed a variety of Chicagoans with different points of view. Some feel fear in their neighborhoods and want to see the National Guard come in, but those who have followed what is happening in DC are less likely to support it because they understand that it isn't really about combating crime. Even the Trump-supporting restaurant owner they interview is against it because he has heard about the sharp decrease of people eating out in DC since the Guard came into the city.
https://blockclubchicago.org/2025/08/29/troops-could-hurt-recovery-downtown-while-ignoring-south-west-sides-locals-fear/
I disagree with Sarah that every adult understands that things are difficult and complicated. My estimate is that maybe 30% do. It is one of my huge frustrations with comments about our mayor, school board, city council, etc. I hear so many people say, "It's easy. All she has to do is (blank), and this problem would be solved." But it is never that easy. There are laws, unintended consequences, buy-in, civil rights, finances, etc, and etc. I don't want to ONLY hear "it's complicated," from my politicians, but I would love to hear them explain why it is complicated if I had any faith that people would listen.
Yes I agree, I am late to the conversation but came here to make this point. I think one reason DT is so appealing is that he affirms the belief held by a very large percentage of people that most problems ARE easy to solve. A corollated idea is that people who claim things are complicated and/or nuanced aren't being honest because they "know on some level" that if we just locked people up and threw away the keys or let everyone carry guns, et etc the problems would be solved.
One of the aspects of the PP community that I appreciate is that even though it's an online community, it has pushed me to be more involved in my local community. It deepens the in-person connections rather than replaces them.
Me too!
Something I think is tough as a lover of nuance and the reality of how many layers there are to problems…. Is that executives HATE that reality. The general push is to move faster, stop being so slow, just do it! And on one hand, I love to move fast so we can increase our rate of learning. But there are real reasons to pause and think through potential risks and consequences. Anyhow thought about that when Beth was saying, why not hire more police in these cities. And I immediately thought: because it’s hard, takes time, etc and Trump seems like the executives I encounter who don’t want context or the best approach but the one that’s fastest.
I think all my comments about crime have been taken already but I do have a comment about the Taylor Swift part (as someone is not a Swiftie but I am happy for people to find love and joy wherever they can). I don’t need her to be talking about Gaza or fascism to think she should be happy, but on the other hand I feel like I am hungry for anyone who has a voice to be speaking out about this current moment in a way that makes senses for them. I have been trying to give those people my attention.
I had much to write. I wrote it. I deleted it. But one thing I want to keep on the record. I found this thought insanely powerful “…I just want to beg everybody to just attack this problem through a sense of belonging.” -Beth
Yes to the importance of love and belonging! And Father Greg Boyle shows how belonging can be an antidote against hate (and the crime it brings) in his books. He has a new book on Cherished Belonging that I thought of when Beth was talking about this. I also really enjoyed his recent discussion with Stacey Abrams on her podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ZuS0ZqxETufqLEm5m4M2S?si=SR-GrnBSQUSwPrJynS3ZFQ
You are the second person in about a week to point me to Father Boyle. I think I better heed the wisdom of the neighbors
I like his audiobooks, which he narrates himself. They consist of vignettes, so no worries of you can't listen all at once. If you make a habit of following him, be ready to tear up a lot, but as often in joy as in sadness.
This part made me cry on my walk as the mom of a trans kid who asks weekly why the president doesn’t want trans people to exist.
I am sorry to hear that. Please let them know that is just a poor example of a person and that many of us are glad that they exist and live in this country at the same time we do.
Thank you :) I took the time to reinforce that tonight over dinner. We are lucky to be at a school that is amazing with great friends and family but this was a good reminder that it is never a bad time to reinforce that they are loved and belong.
As a mom in Minneapolis, I am gutted and infuriated. I know a child at the school, and it’s just 2 miles from home. We personally homeschool, and gun violence definitely influenced our school choices. We are heartbroken.