Paying Attention is an Act of Care

Our Film Club, Citizenship, and Jeff Bezos

My friend Ashley texted me this week and said, “You should put ‘Paying Attention is an Act of Care¹’ on merchandise², a slide, all the things.” Basically - more people should hear those words in that order.

Work in progress

It got me thinking about what I’ve been paying attention to this week.

Obviously, we are hosting a meditation series here on Pantsuit Politics. Meditation is about directing your attention. And this week’s have all hit me hard (but in a good way): Chit Chat to Fight Fascism (listen with a box of tissues), Citizenship as Healing, Citizenship as Hope, Being a Citizen Neighbor (BACKYARD CHICKENS 4EVA!!!!!), and of course, our moment of gratitude for Freedom of Speech³

We also had our first meeting of the Pantsuit Politics film club this week. We were discussing Women Talking and 12 Angry Men. I was struck by the power of deliberation in these films. And also, the characters’ varied willingness and unwillingness to go into the question of “why?" why do you feel this way? why do you think that?” The way our life experiences, schedule, trauma, prejudice, fear, and pain impact our ability to face hard things and change our minds. The squishiness of facts and perspective. The way we are all complicit when something goes horribly wrong. And, also, how I personally changed my opinion and felt better⁴ after talking about the films.

It reminded me of a note we got from our listener Kelly this week. She shared a beautiful account of a recent trip she’d taken with her daughters-in-law and how she was worried but relieved when the conversation turned to politics. Her daughter-in-law reassured her:

She let out a huge whoosh of a sigh and exclaimed "this is what I have been wanting so badly, to just have a reasonable conversation without all the hate!". And I knew a breakthrough had been achieved.

It reminds me of a Hannah Arendt quote that I first encountered in Sarah and Beth’s first book, I Think You’re Wrong, But I’m Listening:

“the people went to the town assemblies, as their representatives later were to go to the famous Conventions, neither exclusively because of duty nor, and even less, to serve their own interests but most of all because they enjoyed the discussions, the deliberations, the making of decisions.”

They liked it.

People like talking. About politics. About their communities. About the problems we see and how to improve them. (They do not like being shot, cancelled, arrested, mocked, or otherwise made to feel like they are a bad person for their point of view, but they love to be heard, understood, and validated). One of my favorite pastimes is scrolling through the community facebook groups I’m a part of and seeing the conversations people are having about the fiberoptic cable being installed⁵.

Coming back to the film club. I know these are works of fiction (or, as the epigraph in Women Talking calls it, female imagination). But, I see every day in our work (and others) how transformational it can be to hear someone out.

And I also see, every day, how valuable it is to step back and make sure you look at the wider world. I’m paying attention to the beautiful way Minnesota has honored Rep. Melissa Hortman (and her husband, and her dog). I’m trying to pay the right amount of attention to Iran (I’m going for awareness and not hypervigilance). The sale (or blocked sale) of public lands and the advocacy around that. I’m always⁶ paying attention to spaceflight.

And, I’m also paying attention to a lot of things that don’t matter. Because they help me exhale:

Exhale: The Spice Cabinet has shared 174 pictures of their pets this week (and every day, I just give myself the treat of scrolling through them) and so many funny tweets about the President.

Exhale: Taylor Swift made an appearance at Travis Kelce’s Tight End University football camp⁷ and someone was like “play something” and she was like “I don’t have a guitar” and someone was like “here’s one” and she was like “SHAKE IT OFF!” I have watched it 1000 times⁸.

tswiftreports

A post shared by @tswiftreports

Exhale⁹: Sarah talked about the Bezos-Sanchez wedding on the news brief this week. Because Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez seem to want to be news. And now I’ve gone down a rabbit hole of their tacky, dripping in mid-life crisis/gold digger stereotypes, lean-into-the-cringe-of-it-all and flaunt-our-extreme-wealth and not-care-about-the-contradictions, really-ought-to-be-embarrassed-but-we ’re-not, and if-I’m-going-to-be-the-4th-richest-man-in-the-world-I-might-as-well-do-things-that-only-the-4th-richest-man-in-the-world-can-do Great Gatsby extravagance of it all.

• Look at their wedding invitations.

• Our Tacky, Beautiful Overlords (Slate)

• The Bezos-Sánchez Wedding and the Triumph of Tacky (The New York Times)

• the foam party on their yacht

• the protests

It’s a rich text is all I’m saying. A LOT to think about here.

Am I thinking about the somber? Yes. Am I thinking about the hard? Yes. But I’m also trying not to hold my breath. Because Ashley is right: paying attention is an act of care, but I don’t want to pass out!

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What We’re Reading and Listening To This Week

• Sarah: “Barbara Walters Tell Me Everything”

• Beth: What If We Could Treat Psychopathy in Childhood? (Scientific American)

• Alise: Search by Michelle Huneven

• Maggie: It’s just the Bezos wedding. I don’t even feel bad about it.

Copyright (C) 2024 Pantsuit Politics. All rights reserved.

1. We make a lot of episodes, but I think this was about Beth’s More to Say on the Supreme Court Ruling in Tennessee’s ban on transgender care for minors

2. Incidentally, if you have ideas/requests for our merch store, nothing makes me happier than putting your request up in our Shopify store.

3. Have I, from time to time over the past six months, wondered if the Trump administration was going to come for sassy social media managers for political podcasts? Yes/No. Either way, this meditation made me feel better.

4. I didn’t realize that Women Talking dealt with sexual violence and domestic abuse before I started the movie. So, just…trigger warning if you’re going to watch it.

5. There’s also a lot of drama about the mayor opening a Chick-fil-A

6. I felt very seen by Sarah’s shout-out on the Good News Brief this week

7. No, I do not know what those words in that order mean

8.

Alise Napp

made me a Swiftie and I’m not sad about it.

9. This is going to seem petty, but I can’t look away (and I think that’s what they want).