So help me out: how will going back to our (Democrats’) roots of progressive and liberal values and ideas help if the nation has moved to the right? Any time the Harris campaign proposed more progressive solutions, she was called a communist! So it just sounds like people want the best of both worlds FOR THEMSELVES ONLY: “I want more money, BUT NOT for THOSE PEOPLE over there. I want good schools, cheap healthcare, affordable housing, tax breaks, but only for ME. Because if EVERYONE benefits, then it’s communism, and that’s bad.” So I feel like yes, we are still very racist, because the “those people”ing and “othering” I see are just dog-whistles and thinly veiled racism on display.
A couple thoughts after processing for a few days:
1) It feels like a nascent muscle memory of resilience is kicking in and I'm incredibly grateful - and surprised - that it kicked in so early. I don't know why I'm not consumed with anger and fear and anxiety but I'm not. We won't know anything until something happens.
2) I'm focusing on how *I* want to show up, how to be the type of person *I* want to be in the upcoming years because that is all that is available.
3) It does feel like grief to me. The sucking, all-consuming black hole of grief. That eases ever so slightly when you take a shower... have a bite to eat... hug a loved one... laugh at something for the first time since *the event.* But it feels like grief for a hoped for future for our country. My grief is not acquiescence or a sign that I've given up. It just is. It reminds me of the grief I experienced around infertility when I had to grapple with a future where I might not be a mom in the way I had planned.
4) I'm still working through my feelings about Trump supporters in this election, but where I've landed (as of now) is that I plan to take it one whole, complex person at a time. I will not stereotype an entire group of people based off of one fact about them. That is counter to my principles.
But I can hold people accountable for their behavior without writing off their humanity. I cannot paint every Trump supporter as hateful and violent and hypocritical when I know it isn't true. And I cannot act as though one belief, held by one person - on this one planet, in this one galaxy, at this moment in time as we hurtle through the universe - is set in stone or the sole representation of a person's worth.
I suspect that Trump is speaking to something different for each person. It is not available to us to hold people to account for their beliefs - for how Trump speaks to them. There is no "right" answer to that. Their feelings are real even if the belief underlying it (about the economy or immigration or whatever) isn't reality. But it is available to hold people accountable for their outward behavior in individual relationships. And it is available to be firm in my grounding in reality.
And that's where I'm at today... I reserve the right to have different feelings tomorrow...
It took me a few days to be ready to listen to this and I’m glad I waited. It mirrored a lot of the conversations I have been having with friends . I appreciate that this show didn’t start or end in tears or hysterics. I felt a lot like Sarah did when the results came in, I just knew it and I didn’t want to stay in despair for long.
This episode was the warm soft hug I needed as I processed. It’s taken me several days to be ready to re-engage, and I’m still trying to figure out what that will look like for me. Especially since this has been a Crazy stressful year for reasons completely unrelated to politics so I’m feeling very stretched and vulnerable. Honestly, I may have had a mini breakdown/panic attack on Wednesday morning when I saw the results and tried to imagine what it might be for my family. So I am definitely in the group of those Sarah mentioned who are scared of the possibilities. But after this episode I am also reframing my concerns, remembering the good hearts of the people around me who I know voted differently from me, and starting to think about what my next right thing will be.
Sarah and Beth, thank you so much for continuing so show up, no matter what. I wasn’t ready to process the election results until Friday morning and I went straight to Pantsuit Politics, obvi. Listening to the show was like a huge hug, obvi. You guys are the best and Alise and Maggie, I see you too!
I need to figure out how to search, as this probably has already been posted but I think this fits with the a lot of the “how did this happen”. It fits with Beth’s town experience of not living with ruthless people who don’t care, which is largely my experience as well. Democrats lost the media war and aren’t I. Any position to win it in the near future.
A good read that I think will will sleep better at night after reading.
This episode was like a therapy session for a blue dot in a very red state. I couldn’t change the minds of most of my friends, but all my close family members voted for her
People believe the lies, misinformation and disinformation and find it too hard to navigate finding the truth in the chaos that Trump is so successful at creating every time he speaks.
I have no formal articulate thoughts other than I was the person who said “i think Sarah’s working through some things she hasn’t yet revealed to us and I’m choosing grace” AND yall are the only voices I have turned on this week. I’ve shut the news, podcasts, and Substacks off except for here. I’m grateful for this space. I’m grateful for y’alls nuanced and honest takes. I’m grateful for the opportunity to say “I just don’t know the answer right now.” I’m sending everyone a gentle hug and the best day available to you 🩷
Thank you for this episode. I am trying so hard to not feel hateful toward and suspicious of the people who surround me in my deeply red community. I am feeling so protective of my students who don't 'fit in the box' and need every protection the DoE provides. I worry about making ends meet for my husband and I as his disability diminishes his options for work. So many things to worry about, and many out of my control.
I will work on 'hard on politics, gentle with people'. Gotta start somewhere, and I can control that. ❤️
I think we’ve got to remember that internalized misogyny and internalized racism are a thing when considering these results - I don’t think the voting numbers show that this wasn’t about those things.
A woman from my hometown reposted something on Facebook today about how there should never be a woman president ever, and someone else (who I KNOW) commented that it was so true, that if it was her and she was having a bad day she would just “push the red button”, etc. You can’t tell me those women don’t hate other women, or at least believe we are less intelligent and capable (and, what’s the difference?). It was gutting to me to see that said so explicitly and publicly.
Two years ago my dad told my sister that she couldn’t buy a house because no one would give a loan to an unmarried woman, and he told her that because he thought it was true! This is a college educated person.
It was really hard for me to hear the part of the podcast saying this is not about those things, because what I’m seeing is just not consistent with that idea. And what I’m seeing hurts.
Really appreciate the self reflection baked into this discussion. Two pieces really landed with me... 1. Sarah reminding us to blame those in power, not those that aren't (which is super important as our first reaction was to blame our neighbors), and 2. Beth's observation that Dems bring a lot of A Student energy when the country was feeling more a "stuff them in the locker" vibe. I felt that one hard... because it's true and I'm definitely guilty. 🙋♀️ Thanks as always, Ladies!
Guys, this will be literal hell AND I don’t think it would have been much better under Kamala. Not because she is not incredible and i believe that she would have done a lot to try and bring unity but because I get the feeling things are so bad and folks are so mad and feel so unheard, we might have to go through it to get past it. I fear that if Kamala won, we would be delaying the inevitable. We are in a pressure cooker and she may have been able to release a little pressure, but the cooker is still cooking and I’m not sure she could have turned off the stove.
Repost from the chat: Sorry I don't have the time to read up the chat to see if Sarah has already addressed this but I feel like we need a real explanation maybe on the show or a more to say about the whiplash we all experienced from her this week. To Sarah: if you had seen this coming why didn't you tell us that? It might have been just the hotel audio issues but it sounded like you were yelling at us that we should have seen this coming and that Democrats have been getting it wrong for years and years and you have been feeling this way for years and years and yet I personally don't feel like we heard that AT ALL on the podcast in 2024. Before the debate you were championing Biden and saying what a great job he did and how you weren't worried about him being president again and then you flipped so quickly after the debate but at least you acknowledged the speed of that shift by saying you felt betrayed and lied to. But this shift was just as sudden and there was no explanation. Now I am the one who feels lied to. I know you both tried to prepare us for whatever outcome and ultimately that's not your job. Our emotions and responses are our own responsibility. But you and Beth both made it seem like the party was mostly doing everything right and then now that we lost the party turns out you felt differently the whole time. I get that we are all processing right now and no one is perfect. And your analysis on the episode was actually helpful in my processing but the attitude felt off. Again perhaps it was just the hotel audio. But would love for this to be addressed. I also felt the hot take about grief was kind of offensive. Grief is about loss not just death. Saying that we should grieve this loss because, "it's just politics" felt reductive and not fair to the experience of others.
Whiplash is such a great word for how I felt. We have plenty of time for the analysis blame game. But for me this was a time to just be together, to say “this sucks” and to acknowledge that people who did work in their every day lives for this election are hurting and scared. And yes, I don’t know another word for the feeling I’ve had than grief.
It just felt so dismissive and I left the episode disappointed because I was hoping to find a soft landing place after avoiding socials and podcasts for a couple days.
So help me out: how will going back to our (Democrats’) roots of progressive and liberal values and ideas help if the nation has moved to the right? Any time the Harris campaign proposed more progressive solutions, she was called a communist! So it just sounds like people want the best of both worlds FOR THEMSELVES ONLY: “I want more money, BUT NOT for THOSE PEOPLE over there. I want good schools, cheap healthcare, affordable housing, tax breaks, but only for ME. Because if EVERYONE benefits, then it’s communism, and that’s bad.” So I feel like yes, we are still very racist, because the “those people”ing and “othering” I see are just dog-whistles and thinly veiled racism on display.
A couple thoughts after processing for a few days:
1) It feels like a nascent muscle memory of resilience is kicking in and I'm incredibly grateful - and surprised - that it kicked in so early. I don't know why I'm not consumed with anger and fear and anxiety but I'm not. We won't know anything until something happens.
2) I'm focusing on how *I* want to show up, how to be the type of person *I* want to be in the upcoming years because that is all that is available.
3) It does feel like grief to me. The sucking, all-consuming black hole of grief. That eases ever so slightly when you take a shower... have a bite to eat... hug a loved one... laugh at something for the first time since *the event.* But it feels like grief for a hoped for future for our country. My grief is not acquiescence or a sign that I've given up. It just is. It reminds me of the grief I experienced around infertility when I had to grapple with a future where I might not be a mom in the way I had planned.
4) I'm still working through my feelings about Trump supporters in this election, but where I've landed (as of now) is that I plan to take it one whole, complex person at a time. I will not stereotype an entire group of people based off of one fact about them. That is counter to my principles.
But I can hold people accountable for their behavior without writing off their humanity. I cannot paint every Trump supporter as hateful and violent and hypocritical when I know it isn't true. And I cannot act as though one belief, held by one person - on this one planet, in this one galaxy, at this moment in time as we hurtle through the universe - is set in stone or the sole representation of a person's worth.
I suspect that Trump is speaking to something different for each person. It is not available to us to hold people to account for their beliefs - for how Trump speaks to them. There is no "right" answer to that. Their feelings are real even if the belief underlying it (about the economy or immigration or whatever) isn't reality. But it is available to hold people accountable for their outward behavior in individual relationships. And it is available to be firm in my grounding in reality.
And that's where I'm at today... I reserve the right to have different feelings tomorrow...
It took me a few days to be ready to listen to this and I’m glad I waited. It mirrored a lot of the conversations I have been having with friends . I appreciate that this show didn’t start or end in tears or hysterics. I felt a lot like Sarah did when the results came in, I just knew it and I didn’t want to stay in despair for long.
This episode was the warm soft hug I needed as I processed. It’s taken me several days to be ready to re-engage, and I’m still trying to figure out what that will look like for me. Especially since this has been a Crazy stressful year for reasons completely unrelated to politics so I’m feeling very stretched and vulnerable. Honestly, I may have had a mini breakdown/panic attack on Wednesday morning when I saw the results and tried to imagine what it might be for my family. So I am definitely in the group of those Sarah mentioned who are scared of the possibilities. But after this episode I am also reframing my concerns, remembering the good hearts of the people around me who I know voted differently from me, and starting to think about what my next right thing will be.
Sarah and Beth, thank you so much for continuing so show up, no matter what. I wasn’t ready to process the election results until Friday morning and I went straight to Pantsuit Politics, obvi. Listening to the show was like a huge hug, obvi. You guys are the best and Alise and Maggie, I see you too!
President Pete Buttigeg with VP AOC might have made me swoon. 🤣
I need to figure out how to search, as this probably has already been posted but I think this fits with the a lot of the “how did this happen”. It fits with Beth’s town experience of not living with ruthless people who don’t care, which is largely my experience as well. Democrats lost the media war and aren’t I. Any position to win it in the near future.
A good read that I think will will sleep better at night after reading.
https://newrepublic.com/post/188197/trump-media-information-landscape-fox
This episode was like a therapy session for a blue dot in a very red state. I couldn’t change the minds of most of my friends, but all my close family members voted for her
Just listened to this amazing g episode. More thoughts later but … folks … Beth dropped an eff bomb. Buckle up indeed!
People believe the lies, misinformation and disinformation and find it too hard to navigate finding the truth in the chaos that Trump is so successful at creating every time he speaks.
I have no formal articulate thoughts other than I was the person who said “i think Sarah’s working through some things she hasn’t yet revealed to us and I’m choosing grace” AND yall are the only voices I have turned on this week. I’ve shut the news, podcasts, and Substacks off except for here. I’m grateful for this space. I’m grateful for y’alls nuanced and honest takes. I’m grateful for the opportunity to say “I just don’t know the answer right now.” I’m sending everyone a gentle hug and the best day available to you 🩷
Thank you for this episode. I am trying so hard to not feel hateful toward and suspicious of the people who surround me in my deeply red community. I am feeling so protective of my students who don't 'fit in the box' and need every protection the DoE provides. I worry about making ends meet for my husband and I as his disability diminishes his options for work. So many things to worry about, and many out of my control.
I will work on 'hard on politics, gentle with people'. Gotta start somewhere, and I can control that. ❤️
I think we’ve got to remember that internalized misogyny and internalized racism are a thing when considering these results - I don’t think the voting numbers show that this wasn’t about those things.
A woman from my hometown reposted something on Facebook today about how there should never be a woman president ever, and someone else (who I KNOW) commented that it was so true, that if it was her and she was having a bad day she would just “push the red button”, etc. You can’t tell me those women don’t hate other women, or at least believe we are less intelligent and capable (and, what’s the difference?). It was gutting to me to see that said so explicitly and publicly.
Two years ago my dad told my sister that she couldn’t buy a house because no one would give a loan to an unmarried woman, and he told her that because he thought it was true! This is a college educated person.
It was really hard for me to hear the part of the podcast saying this is not about those things, because what I’m seeing is just not consistent with that idea. And what I’m seeing hurts.
Really appreciate the self reflection baked into this discussion. Two pieces really landed with me... 1. Sarah reminding us to blame those in power, not those that aren't (which is super important as our first reaction was to blame our neighbors), and 2. Beth's observation that Dems bring a lot of A Student energy when the country was feeling more a "stuff them in the locker" vibe. I felt that one hard... because it's true and I'm definitely guilty. 🙋♀️ Thanks as always, Ladies!
Guys, this will be literal hell AND I don’t think it would have been much better under Kamala. Not because she is not incredible and i believe that she would have done a lot to try and bring unity but because I get the feeling things are so bad and folks are so mad and feel so unheard, we might have to go through it to get past it. I fear that if Kamala won, we would be delaying the inevitable. We are in a pressure cooker and she may have been able to release a little pressure, but the cooker is still cooking and I’m not sure she could have turned off the stove.
Repost from the chat: Sorry I don't have the time to read up the chat to see if Sarah has already addressed this but I feel like we need a real explanation maybe on the show or a more to say about the whiplash we all experienced from her this week. To Sarah: if you had seen this coming why didn't you tell us that? It might have been just the hotel audio issues but it sounded like you were yelling at us that we should have seen this coming and that Democrats have been getting it wrong for years and years and you have been feeling this way for years and years and yet I personally don't feel like we heard that AT ALL on the podcast in 2024. Before the debate you were championing Biden and saying what a great job he did and how you weren't worried about him being president again and then you flipped so quickly after the debate but at least you acknowledged the speed of that shift by saying you felt betrayed and lied to. But this shift was just as sudden and there was no explanation. Now I am the one who feels lied to. I know you both tried to prepare us for whatever outcome and ultimately that's not your job. Our emotions and responses are our own responsibility. But you and Beth both made it seem like the party was mostly doing everything right and then now that we lost the party turns out you felt differently the whole time. I get that we are all processing right now and no one is perfect. And your analysis on the episode was actually helpful in my processing but the attitude felt off. Again perhaps it was just the hotel audio. But would love for this to be addressed. I also felt the hot take about grief was kind of offensive. Grief is about loss not just death. Saying that we should grieve this loss because, "it's just politics" felt reductive and not fair to the experience of others.
Also a report from chat:
Whiplash is such a great word for how I felt. We have plenty of time for the analysis blame game. But for me this was a time to just be together, to say “this sucks” and to acknowledge that people who did work in their every day lives for this election are hurting and scared. And yes, I don’t know another word for the feeling I’ve had than grief.
It just felt so dismissive and I left the episode disappointed because I was hoping to find a soft landing place after avoiding socials and podcasts for a couple days.