We can't go back, and would we want to?
On Friendship and Being a Good Neighbor
We have a basket of treats for you today. We hope you enjoy our listeners’ reflections on loneliness, community, and what it’s like to be in Canada during what’s been called the most pointless trade war in history.
From the Spice Cabinet
Hello All,
I have been thinking about loneliness and belonging recently, in part due to your discussions of it in the podcast. It seems that many of us humans currently on planet Earth are in an awkward phase of trying to figure out how to "do" community these days amidst so many changes.
I read this piece by a college classmate recently and thought he described it well.
Do I Miss the Marine Corps? | by Andrew Loftesnes | Medium
Of course, friendship and life in the Marine Corps is a bit more intense than most things in civilian life, but the sentiment seems similar to what I have experienced post-college. It seems many people can think back to a time when we were in constant close proximity with our friends and how valuable that tight-knit community was. I think back to our group of 6 girls living in an on-campus apartment (with one shower?!), where we drove each other crazy at times but became like sisters in the process. It's difficult, well, I would say impossible, to find that in the "real world." You can't just live with your five besties and spontaneously decide to go out for frozen yogurt or "1 hot drink at the Blarney Stone" (that was a lie) when you find yourselves sitting on the sofa together at home on a random night. Now, there are work schedules, significant others/spouses, and even kids. Oh, and the fact that six people live in 4 different states. It's good that we have moved on and up. We can't go back, and would we want to? But how I miss my friends some days.
How do we move from what was to what is? How do we create communities with our different schedules and new cities filled with other busy strangers? I'm beginning to think part of it is accepting that the closeness found in some stages of life simply cannot be in others. I think some of this is peaking in my own mind after moving to a new city/state about a year and a half ago. I moved because my parents moved, and I wanted to be in the general vicinity of them due to their health issues. I also wanted to make a career change, and choosing to move forced me to take a positive step out. Being closer to my sister was also a bonus. However, having no social friends is.... a downer.
About a year ago, I started helping with my church's monthly Harvesters food distribution, which starts at 7 a.m. on Saturday mornings. I am not a morning person, but this has become something I most look forward to during the month. I've thought that it could be nice to be a little more involved at church, but due to my schedule and living about 45 minutes away (it's closer to my parents' house), it doesn't really work during the week. However, they recently announced plans to start a Spanish Service, which will need volunteers. My heart immediately felt drawn to this. I will be attending a training for it next week, and I've decided that I will make it work to help with that service, regardless of when it is. I don't have any grand ideas of making a new best friend or feeling some deep sense of belonging with this, but it is something that I have a heart for and can be helpful with.
Anyway, I thank Beth and Sarah for their conversations and for helping me move toward community. It could be the most powerful tool we have.
Thank you,
On Spicy Pantsuit Politics this week, Sarah and Beth discussed how they feel about the administration’s trolling behaviors and how we’re thinking through “what’s a big deal” in this administration (today): Full Episode
Hi Pantsuit Politics team,
I hope you’re all keeping as well as can be these days! Thanks for all of your hard work. I’ve been a listener for the better part of a decade and have only written once before (in 2020, when you were looking for perspectives on local communities’ experiences early in the pandemic.) I wrote from where I lived in Vancouver, BC, then, and am now writing at 35 weeks pregnant (!) from Montreal, QC, where I live with my husband and work for an international organization. I cover North America for my organization, leading a team of US and Canada-based professionals, which leaves me feeling caught across jurisdictions, cultures, and political contexts these days.
I know you heard from a Canadian listener recently that left you feeling fired up - hopefully, I don’t leave you in the same place. I wanted to share a bit of what I am hearing and absorbing locally regarding the new administration, particularly on tariffs, from where I stand an hour north of the border. Your Tuesday, Feb 4 podcast prompted this.
I was glad to hear you question what Canada and Mexico had done to merit worse treatment than China, with threatened 25% tariffs looming over us (for at least the next month, now). We’re all asking ourselves the same thing. The US has been our closest ally for many decades now, and it is shocking to feel the rug pulled out from under us. Some tariffs had been in place during Trump’s first term (25% on steel, 10% on aluminum), but nothing like a blanket 25% tariff on all Canadian goods, which is very likely to throw us into a recession and crush our economic outlook, potentially costing hundreds of thousands - if not millions - of jobs. It feels pretty devastating for Canadians. I can see where the other Canadian writer is coming from in saying ‘we want nothing to do with the US right now’ - I think it comes from this profound sense of disappointment that we’ve been so severely threatened by our closest international partner. Given how bound together our economies have been, Canadians feel like you do when you miscalculate the number of steps while walking upstairs - you have that moment of free-fall and shock as your brain tries to recalculate and ready itself to stabilize before your foot hits the ground if that makes any sense. We’ve been stuck suspended in that moment of shock, unsure whether we’ll be able to find steady footing.
I appreciated you reinforcing the need for North American cooperation. I agree that it’s important we maintain our partnerships and can rely on each other in dealing with common issues and building a joint future of peace and prosperity.
I was really surprised at the only limited mention of Trump’s desire to make Canada the 51st state, and I feel all too often that this is being glossed over in American media and commentary. Beth had said, "I don't know about this pressure on Canada to become our 51st state and how effective that's going to be.” I had been spinning at the time (I save your podcast episodes for workouts, as a nice treat!), and realizing that was the extent of your remarks stopped me in my tracks. I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way, but the phrasing made it seem like you didn’t strongly oppose the idea.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently told a private event in Toronto that Trump is dead serious about wanting Canada to become the 51st state, largely to access natural resources (e.g., critical minerals)1. I would love to hear you talk more about Trump’s imperialist desires, which seem all too real. It makes sense when you think about the authoritarian leaders he admires (e.g., Putin, who invaded Russia; Jong-Un, who is constantly threatening South Korea; Jinping, who always endeavors to have Taiwan and Hong Kong in a closer chokehold)2. Between Canada, Greenland, the Panama Canal, and now Gaza, Trump clearly believes he should be building his legacy upon territorial expansion of the US - and I wish that was highlighted more frequently in public forums because it’s so, so important that Americans push back against this neo-colonialism.
If roles were reversed, and Canada was attempting to use “economic force”3 to pressure the US into becoming our 14th province/territory, I suspect you would speak more at length about the need to respect each other’s sovereignty and maintain your independence as a nation. I would expect no less, I recognize that you have reasons to be proud and invested in the American project,, and you communicate this often. I can only hope that you’ll afford Canadians the same respect and dignity.
An exception to the lack of coverage of this 51st state idea that seems to be underpinning the tariff threat: I think of Ontario Premier Doug Ford appearing on Fox TV (one of many of his attempts to appeal to American citizens directly to encourage the new administration to back away from the punitive tariffs that will put us in a trade war), and the hosts acting offended that Canadians wouldn’t be keen to be absorbed into the US4. I can’t imagine the fury we’d see and hear if Canada proposed the opposite.
A last point: There are a couple of unexpected silver linings to this whole economic warfare threat. For one, Canadians - which have never been a loud, in-your-face people - are feeling more pride, and a stronger sense of national identity than we have in years5. We’re also seeing a massive surge of interest in ‘buying Canadian’ and pulling accounts and subscriptions out of the major US-based tech companies (Netflix, Amazon, etc) in the last week or two6.
There’s a definite sense that we have to take care of our own, which involves buying domestically and avoiding US dependencies (including at the individual level), which has been ignited by the ‘longstanding trade partnership' rug being pulled out from under us. Lastly, the outcomes of the Trump presidency to date might just open a window for a different electoral outcome in our own federal election later this year, which has for many months been projected as an inevitable election victory for a Trump-inspired populist, Pierre Poilievre7. Poilievre was near guaranteed victory, according to polling, due to discontent with Trudeau’s party and performance over the last near-decade of his rule. The winds may now be beginning to change as Canadians watch on with concern and apprehension about the direction that the US has moved under its new administration.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. We don’t want “nothing” to do with you, but we are feeling betrayed and very much hurt, with deep concern that the worst is yet to come for your northern neighbours.
Sending my warmest wishes,
Katie
Something Nice to Take You Into the Weekend
A whole bunch of you sent us this reel of Governor Pritzker’s speech8 and I thought it was great and wanted to pass it along.
What We’re Reading and Listening To This Week
Next Wednesday will be our first discussion of Habits of the Heart. We’ve already gotten some great feedback from you about this read and are looking forward to hearing more from you.
Habits of the Heart Slow Read
Last year, we loved doing a slow read of Alexis de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America with you all (you can find all those episodes listed about halfway down this post). It was so fun and such a great way to reflect on America without being tethered to the current news cycle.
Sarah Luigi Mangione Isn’t the First Accused Killer America Has Loved. He Won’t Be the Last. (The New York Times Magazine)
Beth
For Work
The False Promise of Strategic Bombing (Foreign Affairs)
If the Reagan Airport crash was “waiting to happen,” why didn’t anyone stop it? (The New Atlantis)
For Pleasure
Alise: Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Healthy Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff
Maggie: Hurricane, Dog Who Protected Obama White House From Intruder, Dies at 15 (The New York Times) Gift Link - read with a box of tissues
Copyright (C) 2024 Pantsuit Politics. All rights reserved.
And I can hear all of you saying, “but this sounds like it’s at odds with what Sarah and Beth have been saying on the podcast.” Hear me out: the Illinois Governor is acting in his role and within his power to say “I see what is happening. I know what has happened in the past, and I’m on alert.” I think that is the sturdy leadership that we need. He also lays out a role for us as citizens to stand up for our democracy, so I’m here for it. -Maggie
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Much love and respect, Canada! 🇨🇦
"This is about whether a President can force compliance with his will, without regard for the rule of law that governs our nation. I believe he cannot.”
~Janet Mills, Governor of the US State of Maine, est. 1820